Smoke Me.

Chapter 8: Pandora's Box

I stood there for a few minutes, with the clouds continuing to cry on me when Jung grabbed me from behind and pulled me towards the building.

"What the hell?" That was all he could say as he stared at my expressionless face.

I didn't know whether to be happy or scared that my brother saw what he saw. Perhaps terrified because I was trying to find an emotion strong enough to pull me through from the windows of the walls that the chemicals of the pill had built around me.

But I couldn't move.

I was feeling like a talking, moving statue probably did.

"Jungkook!"

"Yeah?"
"Why did that guy just hug you?"
"I don't know," and that was the truth.

Even as logical as I was now, I couldn't see the reason why he'd suddenly return and do what he did.

"What do you mean, you don't know?!"

"Something bad must've happened."

"Honestly..." I started but looked away when I saw his worried yet judgmental expression. "Let's just eat. I'm starving."

I was floating on a metallic cloud and I didn't like it. What choice did I really have though?
When we got inside, I simply walked into my room and locked my door.

"Jungkook, aren't you eating?"
"I need to plug my phone real quick..."
"...Okay."
I was pacing around my room while my phone charged. I waited for it to at least startup so I could see if he had called or messaged me.

It took a while so I just ended up watching the rain and the now empty spot where he had embraced me just a few minutes ago, with no thoughts running through my head.
The more I thought I should be feeling something...anything by now, the more I felt.

Which is basically adrenaline without the anxiety.

Somehow, I wanted the anxiety to be strong enough to smash the wall to pieces just so there would be anything but the void. No matter how much adrenaline my nervous system must have fired inside right now, the pill wouldn't let me feel it.

This pill is nothing besides chemical gaslight.

And it kept raining, and the water kept gathering inside the walls. If it kept going like this, I feared that I will start drowning.

As I looked around my normal-dry room I continued to feel as if an invisible wall was blocking everything I was looking at.

The phone beeped again and again.

"Check your pocket," was the only message he had sent me.

So, I did.

While he was hugging me, he slipped some weed into my jacket... I stared at the ball of aluminum foil as a crazy person would.

I should be feeling relieved, but I can't feel anything.

"Jungkook! I warmed up some chicken and potatoes!"
But I can't smoke when I'm on the pill either. I have to resist...I have to...

"Why did you lock the door again?" I heard Jung trying to turn the doorknob.
I threw the aluminum ball into a box that I then locked with a key. I left the key in the pocket of my jacket as I threw it in the closet at light speed before I opened the door.

"What are you hiding?" He wanted to know as I went outside the room his folded arms and raised brows. I closed the door behind me.
"You know I don't feel safe unless I lock the door after... the incident with that burglar."
"Yeah, but that's been so long ago and we have a security system now!"