Smoke Me.

Chapter 52: True Colors

AN: Hi Smokers! As promised, he's the first out of the four chapters. I will try posting the next one tomorrow. Hopefully, not the day after tomorrow. Hope you enjoy this one.

Whether Jungkook noticed that I wasn't very upbeat, he didn't mention it and I was somewhat grateful for it.

Doctor Steiner didn't find anything wrong and went as far as to predict the full recovery of his eye.

But that meant he was right about the smoke blocking oxygen pathways to his brain or that intense stress coupled with a drink or two simply knocked Jungkook out.

It was as bad as a symptomless disease that showed its ugly head only when Jungkook did what he loved most, but it was nothing that a pill or surgery could fix.

Or maybe wishing so hard you'd escape made your body allow that wish to come true. Who truly knows?

When the day came to take off the bandages, he seemed ashamed. This is why I made sure to compliment him each time, even if it was awkward for me to call him pretty out loud. I felt like he needed it, but he seemed angry at me for doing that. Though he's been angry with me doing pretty much anything.

I was aware that if I wasn't so good with wounds and bandages he wouldn't have shown me any of it. And the long sleeves that he was wearing even when it was warm outside were proof of that.

I've spent the following month sobering up. Trying to keep the withdrawal symptoms to a minimum while making sure that Jungkook's anxiety wasn't spinning out of control either. Getting a part-time job at a supermarket was humbling, to say the least. But no one was prouder to unload boxes from the trucks and to put stuff on shelves than I was.

Nonetheless, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't admit that Jungkook was justifiably irritated since I was following him around every free minute I had because I was afraid he'll magically bump into a dealer that'll end his sobriety in a heartbeat.

After he was able to blink again, I started going to classes regularly because he did too. And the happiest he's been was when he did have a doctor's notice for Mrs. Choi and in his words: "She finally couldn't say a damn thing because it'd make her look bad."

But he didn't say those words to me, but to V instead.

We've spent time together like before we'd ever struck the deal. And V and I didn't spend one second alone anymore, but no one wanted to bring out the fact that despite being in the same room most of the time, we barely ever interacted.

Jungkook and I avoided bringing up Jay or anything connected to him to the gang like the plague. Regardless if they probably knew something was up after seeing Jungkook's eye and scars. And after they've come to the realization that Jay was not coming back on their own, coupled with the fact that Jungkook didn't have a dealer anymore... they've stopped asking or talking about him at all as well. It was like telling them without actually saying a thing. Either way, when the police has shown up, they didn't find any evidence that could possibly make them link us or anyone to his or the other multiple disappearances.

And mundane normalcy ensued.

I didn't force myself on Jungkook no matter how much I wanted him to want me.

We weren't officially together, but I couldn't find it in me to let him believe he wasn't mine.

I'd think it's selfish and then when I'd get ready to tell him that he's free of any obligation towards me, I'd change my mind at the last second.

I've changed my mind every day for weeks.

And telling him not to date was selfish.

But I was unselfish when it came to everything else.