A Frog's Way Home (The Calamity Girls Book 3)

Hop Til You Drop

As I got downstairs one morning, only to see the Plantars holding on to Anne's leg. "Where you going, Anne?" They all asked. "Uh, the mailbox." Anne replied. "Sounds exciting!" Sprig exclaimed. "Can we come? Please? Please?" "Uh, yeah, I guess." Anne replied. The Plantars ran to get their human disguises on. "That reminds me, I should probably get the mail from my house." I said, running towards my house to grab the mail. As soon as I got the mail, I saw Sprig about to commit suicide in a wood chipper. "Ooh, that looks fun." Sprig said. "Sprig, no!" I shouted, stopping him from hurting himself. Over in the distance, Hop Pop was talking with a man about to scam him with a free vacation. Before things could get worse, we dragged them all inside. Anne grabbed a can of orange juice from the fridge and chugged it down. I just slammed my head on the counter, right next to where Rosalina was sitting. "Something wrong, kiddos?" Mr Boonchuy asked. "Where do we even start?" Anne replied. "Polly nearly got in a fight, Hop Pop was seconds away from getting scammed." "And Sprig almost got turned into wood chips." I added. "Wait, Sprig is made of wood?" Mrs Boonchuy asked. "Aren't all of them frogs?" Rosalina added. "We're just exhausted trying to keep them all alive." Anne explained. Mr and Mrs Boonchuy laughed a little bit. "Sounds like being a parent." "The trick is to ease them into the world slow and steady, like how I'm easing this egg into... Dang it!" Mr Boonchuy said, dropping the egg shell into the pan. "What they're trying to say is that all of this is new for them." Rosalina added. "The roles have been reversed and the Plantars are the odd ones out." "I guess you're all right." I replied. "Slow and steady." Anne added. As soon as we both got back into the living room, Sprig was about to touch the spinning ceiling fan with his tongue, Polly was planning on getting into a fight, and Hop Pop was about to be scammed on the phone, causing Anne to scream. "Nope! Slow and steady ain't gonna cut it!" Anne snapped. "Yeah, guys, keep this up and you'll be dead in 2 days." I explained. "Is that a threat?!" Polly shouts. "You okay, guys?" Sprig asked. "Here, take this free stress test I got from that guy." Hop Pop said, handing us a piece of paper. "No, the responsible thing to do is to train you all at once at the most chaotic and dangerous place I know." Anne explains.

I asked Rosalina to drive us to the mall for Anne's plan. "The mall, where we both learned life's most important skills." I explained. "And where you're gonna learn the lessons you need to survive in our world." "Survive?" Hop Pop scoffed. "Your world is soft, girls." "Yeah, I mean, the animals here don't even try to disembowel you." Sprig said. "We don't need no stinking training." Polly added as she drags her family down the escalator with her. Anne and I joined them on the main floor. "Proceed." Hop Pop said. "Rowena and I have come up with a specific task for each of you." Anne explains. "First up, Polly. You need to control your temper, it's drawing too much attention and we're supposed to be keeping a low profile." "I say what I want, when I want!" Polly shouts. "Maybe in Wartwood, but not here." I said. "Your job is to go in that store and build a custom plushie, without fighting anyone." "Child's play." Polly scoffed. "Sprig, you can't touch everything, or you're gonna lose a limb." Anne said. "But there's so many new surfaces and textures!" Sprig cried. "Your mission is to walk through that gallery of art installations without touching any of them." Anne continued. "Sounds simple enough." Sprig comments. "Finally, Hop Pop, you need to stop taking free stuff." I explained to Hop Pop. "In our world, everything has a price." "Then why do they call it free, Rowena?" Hop Pop asked. "Because they think I'm gullible and easily scammed?" "Yup." Anne and I replied. "Oh, well, that's actually pretty clever." Hop Pop said. "Your mission is to make it through kiosk alley without falling for any free scams." Anne explains. "Rowena and I will be watching all of you from up here. You have 20 minutes to complete your missions." "And if one of us screws up?" Sprig asked. "Then you can't be trusted to leave the house. Ever!" Anne replied as they panicked and started their missions. "Oh boy." I sighed.

As we were watching the Plantars from above, Anne laid her head on my shoulder. "So far, so good." Anne commented. "The trial by fire is really paying off." "Right? I don't know how this could get worse." I said. "OMG! Anne? Rowena? Is it really you guys? Within 6 feet of each other?" A familiar voice asked. We both turned around to see Gabby, one of our classmates from school, pulling us into a hug. "Where have you been? Is it true you ran away, or went missing, or died, or something?" "Don't be ridiculous, Gabby, I was just at my family's farm, in Alaska." Anne lied. "For 5 months." "I was studying abroad in Italy, pretty uncommon for a middle schooler, I know." I fibbed. "I couldn't get a flight home for 5 months." "Well, now that you're both back, I gotta catch you up on all the hot goss." Gabby said. "Listen." Anne explains. "We're sorta..." "So, Bridget got mad at Carlos cause she thought Carlos went to the movies with Johanna, but it was actually Yoko, so then Yoko and Bridget stopped being BFFS until they both got mad at Tommy because Tommy said "We've only been dating since second grade, we're not soulmates."" Gabby interrupted, causing me to chatter my teeth.

Sprig's POV

I've been struggling with my task. Looking around, everywhere I went was something new that I just wanted to touch. Like Rowena always says, this was frog abuse. "I can't do it! These things are just so cool!" I cried. I turned around and I saw Anne and Rowena talking to a girl about their age. "Chance." I turned back to the exhibit so I could feel it. Oh my frog! I never felt so alive! Suddenly, part of the exhibit came apart. The broken piece moved a lever to destroy the whole thing. Before I knew it, I was running on top of a giant egg.

Polly's POV

Anne and Rowena made another mistake, leaving me alone with a bunch of babies in a store. These monsters were trying to get in the way of my mission. "Almost. Done!" I shouted. As I was about to check out, the babies held me back, causing me to drop my plushie. "No! Please! I'm so tired. This madness has to stop!" One of the babies destroyed the plushie and I began fighting the babies one by one. I wish we didn't leave all our weapons back in Wartwood.

Hop Pop's POV

I've been doing an amazing job avoiding scams from the greedy humans. "Take that, girls. Told you your world was easy." I gasped at the sight of dozens of coppers left in a fountain. I felt like they were calling to me. "It can't be, thousands of coppers just there for the taking. For free?!" I turned around to see the girls talking with another human. "Chance." I took off my disguise, other than my pants and glasses, and I dove into the fountain to grab all of the free coppers.

Rowena's POV

It's been a few minutes and Gabby was still talking. "So, what started out as a love triangle is now some kind of disgusting love rhombus." Gabby said. "Sounds like a few of my fandoms." I commented. All of a sudden, I heard Sprig screaming when I saw him running on top of a broken art project. "I may have touched something!" Sprig shouted. "Oh, shoot!" Anne exclaimed, grabbing my hand. "Good to see you, Gabs, we gotta go!" "Later, girls." Gabby replied. "Glad you guys made it back from your designated trips." As we both got downstairs, we also saw Polly running from angry mothers. "Angry moms coming through!" Polly shouts. "Karens." I scoffed. "This can't get any worse." Anne sighed. "Help me girls!" Hop Pop screamed, running away from mall security. I should also mention that he turned green and his pockets were stuffed with pennies. "Help me!" "Hop Pop?!" I exclaimed. "WHY ARE YOU GREEN?!" Anne asked. "The cursed fountain did this to me!" Hop Pop explains. "You were right, Rowena, everything has its price!" "Alright, first things first, we gotta clean up this mess." Anne said. "Rowena, you go get Hop Pop, and I'll get Sprig and Polly." "On it." I replied. I ran over to Hop Pop as soon as Anne distracted the Karens and the security guard.

Once we got out of the mall, we hid by a nearby dumpster. "Well, guess we failed our trials." Sprig sighed. "Oh, you think?" Polly complained. "No, we're the ones who failed." I said. "We shouldn't have put you guys through all of this in the first place. It was too much too soon." "Don't feel too bad, turns out we could stand to learn a few things about your world." "I just really thought throwing you to the deep end would work." Anne sighed. "I mean, it worked for us in Amphibia." The Plantars did nothing but burst into laughter. "Both of you barely survived." Hop Pop laughed. "Remember when Rowena was writing in her journal and walked right into that pool of quicksand?" Polly remarks. "Or when Anne was napping outside and a swarm of skull suckers were trying to carry her away?" Sprig added. "Wait, I don't remember that last part." Anne replied. "Girls, we were always looking out for you, even if you didn't always notice." Hop Pop explains. "Thanks, guys. We'll try to do better about easing you into this place." Anne said. "Rosalina was right." I added. "The roles really have been reversed." We pulled our frog family into a hug. "I think we need to get Hop Pop to a shower." Sprig said. "Oh, yes, please." Hop Pop agreed. "My skin is burning."