A Frog's Way Home (The Calamity Girls Book 3)

Hollywood Hop Pop

Today was the day. Anne, Rosalina and I were going to tour Hollywood with the Plantars on a bus. Sprig and Polly were not as excited as Hop Pop, though. "Welcome to Hollywood!" Anne announced. "Pretty impressive, right HP?" "Why, it's almost as if your world actually respects actors." Hop Pop replied. "Respects them?" I laughed. "Around here, people worship actors as gods." "If only that were me." Hop Pop sighed. "I know my acting career didn't really pan out, but maybe I'd have a shot in this world." "Possibly, but Mr X is still after you guys and he's seen you." Rosalina explains. "So I'd keep a low profile if I were in your shoes." "He's gone." Sprig and Polly said. "He what?!" Anne, Rosalina, and I shouted. "Hollywood, here I come!" Hop Pop yelled. Anne tried to leave the bus, but immediately sat back down. "You know what, I don't have the energy for this." Anne said. "I feel you." I added.

Instead of looking for Hop Pop, we went to find some souvenirs at a gift shop. Sprig was rocking out some cool shades, and Polly had a gold chain. "Sprig, could you pose for me?" Rosalina begged, grabbing her camera from her purse. "Those glasses look pretty wicked on you." "Thanks, Rosalina." Sprig posed for the camera a few times. "Work it, Sprig!" I exclaimed. "Hey, there's Hop Pop!" Anne shouted, pointing across the street at a man. "And it looks like he didn't cause any trouble." We ran across the street while my sister was still browsing the gift shop, but it turns out that the man looked like Hop Pop if he were a human. "Alright, this guy got the part, everyone else can go home!" A casting director announced with Hop Pop by her side. Anne and I had our jaws dropped. "Are you kidding?!" Anne exclaimed. "Hey, congratulations, Hopediah." The man said. "Humphrey, wait, I just realized, I took your spot." Hop Pop replied. "Heck, I might've just stolen your opportunity!" "Ah, pish-posh, it was one in a million either way. I'm just happy it went to a nice guy." Humphrey explains. "Plus, I've already waited 45 years for a big break. What's a few more?" Once Humphrey walked away, Hop Pop was looking guilty. "45 years?" Hop Pop asked. "I know the feeling, Humphrey." "I still don't think this is a good idea." I said. "But, as long as it's for something small that no one sees, maybe it'll be harmless." Anne added.

The next morning, I poured my coffee and sat next to Anne, who was watching tv on the couch, eating cereal. "Morning." I greeted my girlfriend. "Ooh, what's on right now?" "Suspicion Island." Anne replied. "You know, 5 months ago, I would've said no, but I've learned to actually like it." I said. As I took a sip of my coffee, we both heard a familiar voice coming from the tv. "Do your elbows crack when you bend them?" Hop Pop was casted in an elbow cream commercial. I spit out my coffee on Anne and she did the same with her cereal. "Hop Pop!" I screamed. The Plantars came downstairs to see the commercial. "Say what?!" Hop Pop synced with the commercial. "Whoa, Hop Pop!" Sprig exclaimed. "You're on TV!" Polly added. "How did I get inside the picture box?" Hop Pop added. "And why am I saying lines from that play I did yesterday?" "It's on every channel." Polly said. "Hop Pop, that wasn't a play." Anne explains. "They were filming you for a commercial!" "You lost me, Anne." Hop Pop replied. "Ugh, this is not low profile!" Anne groaned. Rosalina ran downstairs with her phone. "Guys, you're not gonna believe this!" Rosalina exclaimed. "Hop Pop has just gone viral!" "Oh, do we live with somebody famous?" Mrs Boonchuy asked. "Should we be charging rent?" Mr Boonchuy added. "What if Mr X sees one of these!" I panicked. "Who?" Sprig asked. "Um, the secret agent that wants to catch us!" Anne replied. "Girls, he's a busy federal employee." Mr Boonchuy said. "I'm sure he doesn't have time for tv."

Me, Anne, and the Plantars got on another bus, heading back to Hollywood. "I still think this is overkill." Hop Pop groaned. "Sorry, but we need to get the commercials pulled before this gets out of control." I apologized as I saw a billboard, promoting Hop Pop's commercial. "Holy frog abuse!" It might've been too late. Hop Pop was everywhere. "I can't believe all it took was getting trapped in another world to get my big break!" Hop Pop exclaimed. "But am I deserving? Am I living a dream that should've gone to Humphrey? Am I, on a T-shirt?!" "Whoa!" Sprig exclaimed. "They have mugs, too!" "You have a catchphrase?!" Anne asked. "I thought Rowena was the only one." "This would actually be pretty neat if it weren't so..." I said as my phone rang. "Hello?" "Hi, this is Mitch Harbour, calling for Hopediah Plantar." He explains. "Wait, THE Mitch Harbour? The director of Weirder Things?!" I asked. "And Fumigator 1, 2, and 4." Mitch replied. "Now can I please speak to..." "Hopediah Plantar, I'm Hopediah. Not anyone else. Only me." Hop Pop said, pushing me aside and grabbing my phone. "HP, I love your work." Mitch compliments. I want you to audition for a role in my latest film." "Say what?!" Hop Pop shouted as a bunch of his fans surrounded us. "Meet you at 10 am, at your office in the studio water tower, just show up and I get the part?" I took the phone from him, only to see that it was 9:45 am. "Hop Pop, don't even think about it." Anne said. "Sorry, girls, this is too big to pass off!" Hop Pop yelled. "No, Hop Pop, get back here!" I shouted as Mr X came through the crowd, ready for another chase. Anne and I hid with Sprig and Polly behind a trash can. "Jenny, he's headed for the studio lot." Mr X explains to Jenny over his headset. "Meet me with reinforcements. We've got him for real this time." "We've got to get to Hop Pop before Mr X does." Anne whispers. "Come on."

We ended up borrowing a golf cart, driving through a bunch of sets. "Who's idea was it to let Sprig drive?" I asked. But, once we pulled up to the water tower, it was too late. "Oh, no! They got Hop Pop!" Polly exclaimed. "You kids sure about that?" Hop Pop asked. "Wait, then, who did they catch?" Sprig questions. "I don't get it, you abandoned the audition?" I asked. "I didn't abandon it, I just gave it to someone who's waited as long as I have." Hop Pop replied, hugging all of us. "I've already had a taste of the spotlight, kids. It's about time for this frog to stop pining after what he doesn't have, and start seriously protecting the things he does." "Bravo, Hop Pop." Anne said. "Bravo." "Besides, this whole experience has taught me that the real power is behind the camera." Hop Pop explains. "Wait, you don't mean..." I started. "That's right, from now on, I wanna be a director." Hop Pop interrupted, before being pushed off the golf cart.