A Frog's Way Home (The Calamity Girls Book 3)

If You Give a Frog a Cookie

One morning, I helped Anne bake some cookies for the Plantars. Once the timer went off, I got the cookies out of the oven. "Question, why are the Plantars flooding our lawn?" Mrs Boonchuy asked. "Sorry, that's on me." Anne apologized to her mother. "They've been really homesick lately and I thought a swamp might cheer them up." "They don't look very cheery." Mrs Boonchuy said. "They were for a bit, but then they weren't." I explained. "So, I decided to help Anne out by making cookies, the answer to all of life's problems." "Girls, you can't keep giving them things just because you feel bad. They need to learn to cope on their own." Mrs Boonchuy replied. "Maybe your right, we'll go talk to them." Anne sighed. Mrs Boonchuy grabbed one of the cookies from the tray and took a bite. "Mmm, how did you get them so crunchy?" She asked. "Oh, those are the cicadas." I replied. "Thanks, Mom!" Anne called out.

Anne turned off the sprinklers once we got outside to the backyard. "Guys, we know you're homesick, but I don't think any of this is helping." I said. "Rowena's right, kids." Hop Pop sighed. "This was nice, but let's clean this up and get back to the village." "Sorry, the what now?" Anne asked. "Why, our miniature recreation of Wartwood, of course." Hop Pop replied, revealing a scale model of Wartwood, created from trash. "Would you like to make an appointment with my therapist?" I asked. "Let's just say I've been lying to them and saying Amphibia was a horrible dream I've been having for 5 months." Suddenly, Anne's phone rang, with an incoming call from Dr Jan. She dragged me away so the Plantars couldn't eavesdrop. "Hey, Dr Jan, tell me you've got good news." Anne said. "Great news, actually. I've got a lead." Dr Jan explains. "One of my colleagues knows a string theory expert who works in the area! In other words, we found someone who might be your ticket back to Amphibia!" "That's awesome news!" I cheered. "Just wait until we tell the Plantars!" "I wouldn't just yet." Dr Jan said. "There are a lot of loose cannons in the scientific community, and I'd like to vet this Dr Frakes before we meet her." "Okay, let us know when you're ready, Dr Jan." Anne replied, hanging up the phone. "Was that Dr Jan?!" Sprig asked. "Sounded like she had news!" Polly exclaimed. "A lot of news." Hop Pop added. "Sorry guys, no good news to report." I lied, causing the Plantars to walk away depressed. "I think my therapist does walk-ins if you're interested!" "Alright, kids." Hop Pop sighed. "Back to the tiny village." Anne felt guilty. "Just kidding!" Anne announced. "Dr Jan found someone who might know how to get us back to Amphibia!" The Plantars were stoked about the news. "Well, we can't go right now." I explained. "Dr Jan said..." "That today's great, we have her name." Anne interrupted. "Let me just look her up and we can head on over." "Your the best, girls!" They exclaimed, hugging us by the legs. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" I asked. "It's a good idea." Anne replied. "They need a nugget. Right, fake Wally?" The wind caused the fake frog to nod in disagreement.

After Anne looked up this scientist Dr Jan was talking about, we took the Plantars to a science museum. "According to the internet, our scientist works right here?" Anne wondered, opening the door to see kids playing around with different experiments. "So this is where they keep all of the dark Earth magic." Polly said. "I can't believe we'll be going home soon!" Hop Pop exclaimed. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves." I commented. "We're only here to ask some questions, now stay close, the government is still on our tail." We snuck over to the office and knocked on the door. "Ugh, I keep telling you kids, we don't have extra snacks back here!" A scientist groaned. "Oh, hello, are you here to see Dr Frakes?" "Yes!" The Plantars cheered. "Is she available?" I asked. "Only by appointment, sorry." The young scientist replied. "Oh, well. We tried." Anne said. The frogs gave us the baby doll eyes. "Wait, actually, we're reporters and we were just wondering if you could answer a few questions about inter dimensional travel?" "Aren't you a bit young to be a reporter?" They asked, before being shoved into the ground by another scientist. "Silence, Terri!" The other scientist shouted. "At last, the media has caught wind of my amazing discovery!" "What kind of discovery?" Hop Pop asked. "Oh, nothing big, just a portal to another dimension!" She cheered. "Did you say portal?!" We all asked. "Now, come with me." She said. "Terri, music!" Terri groaned, playing a playlist.

Dr Frakes let us inside the office. "The great Dr Frakes may currently be stuck running the Brainasium and looking after hordes of snot nosed brats, but that doesn't mean my research has stopped." Dr Frakes said. "Behold, Frakes ferrofluid. Over here is an example of a Frakes fractal. Look over here, my Frakes field!" "Wow, so many things named after you!" Polly exclaimed. "Well, science is the pursuit of naming things after yourself." Dr Frakes explains. "I thought it was the pursuit of knowledge." Terri grunted. "Don't be stupid, Terri!" Dr Frakes shouted, opening a door. "Behold, the Frakes portal chamber! It all began a few months ago, when the city was hit by a wave of very strange energy. Since then, we've been able to repeat the anomaly several times, but no matter how many times I do it, nobody believes me. Everyone says that my images are fake, hard to get a good picture with all that magnetic distortion. But here today, I will prove them otherwise! Now, who's ready to see me burst through space-time?" "Doctor, this process is still very unstable and dangerous." Terri warned. "Should we really involve civilians?" "Fine! We'll let the press decide!" Dr Frakes groaned. "I think one of those pictures is Amphibia, I'm almost somewhat certain about it." Hop Pop whispered. "I'm not so sure, guys the images look pretty fuzzy." I shrugged. "And besides, we just came to ask questions. "Okay, but can we at least look through it?" Sprig asked. "Please, guys?" Polly begged. "We'd be able to see home again." "No!" Anne shouted. "We have no idea what will happen, it's too dangerous!" The frogs whined again. "Ugh, fine, just a peek." Anne groaned. "But then you're not allowed to be sad for the rest of your lives, got it?" "Yeah!" They cheered. "Alright, Dr Frakes, let's see that portal." I said. "That's what I'm talking about, baby!" Dr Frakes exclaimed, activating the portal, which ended up blowing a fuse. "Unfortunately, I can only hold a portal open for about 5 seconds before it collapses and, uh, were you three always giant talking frogs?" We all gasped. "Um, so, I can explain." Anne said. "We're frog people from another dimension!" Hop Pop shouted. "We just wanna go home!" Sprig cried. "I knew they weren't reporters!" Terri exclaimed. Dr Frakes examines the Plantars. "Terri, clear my schedule." She said, pushing me and Anne to the ground. "Frakes field activate!" She traps the Plantars with her invention so she can dissect them. "Holy frog abuse!" I panicked. "Come back with our frog family!" Anne shouted. "Don't try to stop us, Terri!" "I'm not." Terri explains. "Frakes may be an unparalleled genius, but that doesn't mean she can just kidnap people. We have to stop her." "Oh, well that's a nice turn." I commented. "Let's do this." All three of us kicked open the door to stop the dissection.

The door led back to the main lobby. "There, up the stairs!" Terri shouted. "She's headed for the dissection lab!" Before we could follow Dr Frakes and the Plantars, we were surrounded by some kids, demanding snacks. "Oh, no. My granola bar from lunch! Run, Anne and Rowena!" Anne and I ran upstairs to stop the dissection. "No, no no! The door is locked!" I panicked. "You can't stop me, girls!" Dr Frakes yelled. "When I'm done, everyone will know my name!" "Your crazy, Dr Fink!" Polly shouted. "It's Frakes!" She corrected. "Whatever." Polly rolled her eyes. "Not today!" Anne exclaimed. "Here! Take my keycard!" Terri shouted. "Don't you dare, Terri, one email from me and you'll never in any scientific field ever again!" Dr Frakes snapped. "Do you really want to risk your entire career for these creatures?!" "Yup." Terri said, unlocking the door with their keycard. Anne blocked the blades with a model of an ear as I untied the belt. "Let's go!" Anne shouted as we dashed towards the door. "What do we do, girls?" Hop Pop asked. "She's after us and madder than a hornet!" "I have an idea. Terri, take the Plantars and go." I explained as Anne gave them to her. "Here's a physics lesson for you, girls, I'm bigger than both of you and I have momentum. You can't stop me!" Dr Frakes screamed. "We've got an answer for you, too." Anne replied, grabbing the bag of cookies from earlier, tossing them to her. "Cookies really are the answer to all of life's problems!" I added. "Good thing kids will eat anything when it comes to snacks." "Hey kids! Snack time!" Anne shouted as we quickly escaped.

Later that night, Terri volunteered to take us home to Anne's place. "Look, guys, we're trying our best to get us back to Amphibia, okay. And we get how much you miss it, but you got to stop guilting us, especially Anne, she can't resist." I explained. "Sorry, guys." Sprig apologized. "We should've known better." Hop Pop said. "The Plantars always did have powerful guilting skills." "Yeah, but you cost Terri their job and nearly got dissected." I recalled. "I think you all actually did me a favor." Terri explains. "Frakes was brilliant, but also a huge jerk. This whole thing reminded me that science is for helping others, not just helping yourself. And I think the portal we build together will be more than enough to get me a grant." "Wait." Anne said. "You mean..." "Yup, I'm gonna help you get these goobers home." Terri interrupted. We all cheered. "Thanks, Terri, you're a good person." I complimented. "Hey, Terri, can I drive your car?" Sprig asked. "Please?!" "Aw, look at that face. Okay." Terri replied. Sprig grabbed the wheel and drove out of control.