My Mess

Chapter Thirty-Two: Holding Hands, Crying and Podcasts

Chapter Thirty-Two: Holding Hands, Crying and Podcasts
Cole's POV

I couldn't stop crying when we got to the car, but I also just felt so bad for Nathaniel.

I feel like if you could make, 'no clue what to do' into a person, it would be Nathaniel right now.

Eventually Nathaniel awkwardly wrapped his arms around my shoulders to give me a semi-awkward hug and I couldn't help but lean into it.

When I had said I needed a hug before, I didn't even realize how badly I needed it, I felt like completely melting into his grasp.

"Sorry." I apologized again and I heard him 'tsk'.

"Cole, shut up."

Despite the tears, I still laughed, wiping at my eyes. "But I got boogers on your shirt, that doesn't bother you?"

"No."

"Yes it does." I laughed.

"Okay, it does, but not right now it doesn't. You're kinda more important right now."

Nathaniel's mouth was right next to my ear, and I could still faintly hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"That's corny." I said, smiling slightly as I pulled away.

The laughter helped me calm down, I wiped at my eyes again and I could already feel them getting heavier.

"I'm sorry about your shoes."

Nathaniel looked at me with genuine concern, "Cole... you're more important than my fucking shoes." he said, almost shocked that I was caring about his shoes in a moment like this.

"They just looked so expensive" I murmured.

He laughed, "Well they are, but I own a lot more."

"And you haven't even offered me a pair yet..." I shook my head, sniffling. "Is it cause I'm gay?"

"Do you want a pair?"

I had a feeling he'd pull out his phone and order a pair if I had said yes, so instead I laughed and shook my head.

He was quiet for a second, uncertain what to say, or maybe just feeling awkward.

"Who.. called?" He asked gently, attentively, afraid I'll break down again.

I didn't blame him, I was afraid I would to. God, why did I have to be such a fucking softie.

My dad used to say that to me so often, and it was no question why. I really was so sensitive, like he said. I felt awful, putting Nathaniel in a situation that made him concerned.

I swallowed, laughing slightly, "Ah, just my dad."

His eyebrows drifted inwards and I had to remind myself to take a deep breath or I'd start sobbing again.

He was slow with his response, "You don't have to say what he said." He said, "It's fine."

I shook my head, "No, I threw up on your shoes, the least I can do is explain."