My Mess

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Stupidity and Reflection - A Visit Gone Wrong

Chapter Thirty-nine: Stupidity and Reflection - A visit Gone Wrong
Cole's POV

What was I doing here?

I felt guilty. There I was, finally feeling less and less like shit and now I was outside of the house, the blue car parked in front, my trembling hands shoved into my pockets. 

I had told Brian I was just going out to do something impulsive, I didn't even know why I had lied. 

I could've told him I was coming here, maybe that would've gave me a place to go back to, a comforting embrace to be welcomed by if- no, when things went wrong. 

I took a deep breath as I knocked on the door, shaking. 

Oh my god, I was such an idiot. 

It hit me now, what I was doing. 

Stepping into a house with a woman I threw up over just thinking about.  

I went to turn away - more exact, I went to run away - but the door flew open and I froze as my dad stood there. 

"Cole." he said with a raised eyebrow. 

I swallowed thickly, "Dad," I whispered hoarsely, I avoided food all of today in hopes that it would make things stay settled more, but even without food in my system I felt nauseous. 

"Decided to come say hi?" he asked, bitterness in his voice. 

"I-" I swallowed thickly, "I just wanted to ask why you wanted to see me." 

I had to remember what I was doing, why I was here. 

I was here because they had crossed a line. They had gone and bothered my friends and the parents of my friends and I couldn't let them get anymore restless and catch me off guard like that again. 

My dad scoffed, "You're my son? You've hung up on every call, you aren't even answering the calls I give to you now. You didn't even think of hearing us out. You acted like a fucking brat Cole." 

My dad. I could do this. This was just my dad... for now. 

"I'm sorry dad, I was just..." I felt the pressure building behind my eyes. "I just was... really effected when I found out mom was back." 

He sighed, "She's just your mother, Cole. She did some bad things, but that was such a long time ago." 

"Dad," My voice cracked.

How did I respond to that. 

"I- I was just-" It felt way to cold to be outside, but my heart was beating to fast to ask to come inside. "She hurt me, as a kid, it as just a scare that she's back and-"

"Exactly Cole, a kid, you have no right to act as you did. I mean, you're almost 18." 

I shuffled, "Right..." I whispered, looking at my feet. 

"Well, come in I guess." He sighed, opening the door wider and I saw my mom looking over at me from the couch. 

My heart sunk, I swallowed thickly. 

"I don't think-" 

"Cole, get your ass in the house." He grabbed my wrist roughly, tugging me in and instantly the smell of smoke wafted into my nose. 

I winced when he roughly left go, looking down the the crimson crescent moon shaped imprints on my wrist with beaded with red. I wiped it on my shirt. 

"Shawn." My mom said, I could've fainted there on the spot. 

"M-m-most people call me Cole, now." My voice was faint, I didn't even realize it was me that was talking until my lips pressed together again and my chapped lips ached as if somehow the emotion was making it worse.