My Mess

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Chaos and The Truth

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Chaos and The Truth
Cole's POV

I should've known. 

Every good thing must have a treacherous end for me. That's the only way things can happen. 

I recognized the blue car from down the street, and I prayed in my head. I really put all my faith that there was a god because I really needed there to be one right now, I needed it to just be my dad.

 I really needed it to just be my dad. 

But the second I walked into that house it became abundantly clear that any god, if they existed, did not care about me. 

"Shawn." 

"We've been messaging you forever now." 

I looked to Brian, he was concerned but I had a feeling it was because of my reaction and not because of who was on his couch. 

She didn't change. 

She looked exactly the same. 

Pin straight, stringy brown hair. Dark skin sunken in. The only difference was the wrinkles had gotten deeper and she seemed to be even more skinny than she was before. 

"Cole, before you freak out-" My dad started. 

I was too stunned to even move, too stunned to think, I already was freaking out. There was no 'before'. I was in my fight or flight mode and my body did what it needed to protect me.

I stepped back towards the door, enclosed the handle in my hand and swung it open, hurriedly exiting the house. 

Nathaniel's door slammed shut as soon as I got outside. 

"Cole-" 

"She's- She-" I couldn't form a sentence and the door behind me flew open. "Stop!" I said, holding a hand out to my dad who was standing in front of my mom, reading for me. "I can't- I- fucking christ." I spun around towards Nathaniel. 

"Cole, just let us talk." My dad said, and I couldn't help but flinch at the harshness in his voice. 

"No? Fuck no." 

"Don't talk to us like that. What's gotten into you?" 

The world felt like it's spinning, completely spinning, and I swore the ground felt further away than normal. 

I was scared, I didn't want to get hurt. I really didn't want to get hurt. 

"Cole, go sit in the car." Nathaniel said, placing his keys in my hand. "You're dad has to be nice to me for his company. Go sit in the car." His voice was calm and soothing, but I was too panicked to realize that he wasn't doing me harm. 

My dad had to be nicer to him than me, his own son, for his fucking company sponsor. My dad would kneel at the feet of Nathaniel and his family, but for me? What did I get? 

My eyes started to water, I wiped at them. 

She wouldn't see me crying, she fucking hates when I cry. 

I wanted to be help by my dad, I wanted to inhale that stupid shitty cologne that he wore. I wanted him to ruffle my hair and laugh and tell me I was being silly and that he wouldn't let her hurt me again. 

But he didn't do that, not even when she saw that hand land on a six year old's skin. 

Not even when he saw those bruises.