Myths & Rejections

Chapter 32 - What kind of bag?

Word count: 3074

"So, I'm just going to address the elephant in the, uh, jeep," Adam said as soon as they shut the doors. "I guess you've made up your mind on not keeping me as your mate?"

"Yes, I have," Celie said. "I just can't do it, Adam. I can't forget what happened, I can't move past it. I really tried to consider it for a little while, but it's just there constantly whenever I'm around you. There is always this tension in me, like I'm a bow string that's ready to snap when I'm around you. I'm still so angry, Adam, I don't think you get how freakin angry I am at you. I just want to lash out at you every time I talk to you. Not just for what you did, but for having the nerve to come here and lay this on me after everything you did. It bugs the shit out of me that you expect me to just forget it happened and move on and mate with you like it meant nothing."

"I guess, I sort of understand that," Adam said. "I just wish you could see that I can make it up to you, I'd spend my life making better memories to wash those away."

"You can't, Adam," Celie sighed. "Some things create a stain so bad it can never be washed away. Rejection is one of those things. I want to move on, Adam. I want to have a life out from under that shadow, a life where I'm not drowning in those memories. You don't understand, I know you think you do, but you just don't. Not accepting your rejection made the last seven years a living hell of pain, depression, and struggle. I watched Harper's pain fade, I watched her get better, while I never did, I just pretended every single day that I was ok when I was really dying inside. I tried so fucking hard to move on, and I couldn't because I never accepted the rejection, it just stayed there like a weight on my chest. But after I accepted it, I felt like the weight that had been suffocating me for seven years, was suddenly lifted and I could breathe again. I could hope again. I don't want to go back to not being able to breathe or hope."

They made it to the restaurant and Celie parked in the take out spot as she finished her rant.

"Cel, it won't be like that," Adam said. "You can be healed, we can be healed together, that's the power of the mate bond."

Celie reached over and put her hand on Adam's, and he stared at it in horror. There was only a slight tingle, the sparks were almost gone. His wolf howled in pain and anguish inside him.

"It wasn't meant to be, Adam," Celie said softly. "It just wasn't. I'm sorry it happened this way, I really am. A little piece of me honestly wishes things had been different. Note the little piece part of that statement. I wish I was never rejected; I wish I never had to feel that pain. But I was rejected, I did feel that pain, and it changed me, just like it changed you. It changed everything. The life I thought I wanted for so long, is not life I want now. With the rejection pain fading, with the bond not ripping apart my soul every second, I don't want the life I used to wish for. I want the one I have now, I'm happy where I am, and I don't want to go back from here. I can't."

Adam sniffed, the tears that had been filling his eyes slipped down his cheeks and he just nodded, biting his lip.

"What if things don't work out with him?" Adam asked.

"Then things don't work out. But that won't change anything between us." Celie said slowly. "Me and Eden not being together won't change our past Adam, nothing can do that."

Adam drew in a deep breath, sniffed again, and wiped his cheeks.

"She's going to try and break you up, you know. That Sana chic has her eyes on Eden big time." Adam said. "So watch your back, and remember I'll still be here, for a little while anyway, not forever."