I'm sorry

Lost

So as of right now I have no fucking idea what I'm doing anymore. I'm getting messages and shit telling me it gets better but I really just wish people would stop with the BS bc it's not true. I would like to not have people comment about how I'm perfect and how I need to stay strong. I'm tired of it. I hate it. It's not helping. I relapsed last night because I finally realized how stupid, ugly, fat, annoying and messed up I am. Don't you dare comment and tell me otherwise bc you and I both know it's not true. So do yourselves a favor and don't type something to me that isn't true bc it's the same old story. I remember when I was younger I was happy. Now it's impossible to be happy. I can't smile. I can't laugh. I can't cry anymore. The only thing helping me is the hope that maybe one day it'll get better. Even though it won't happen. I'll die before it happens. This person knows who I'm talking to but I would've loved to meet your friends in the band. Too bad I live like 10 hours away. I love you all. I mean it. It may not seem like it but I do. I've heard it and I know it's not true. How could anyone love me? I'm just wasting away. I know it may seem like empty words to you but I do love you all. I don't hate anyone. If you need to talk to me then DM me. Snapchat me at hollycea0123456. Kik me at holly_h_2001