I'm sorry

Mental Ward Visit

So I haven't told anyone this but I got sent to a mental ward for being suicidal and for possibly being a threat to myself and society. Basically my friend Sam attempted suicide but our friend called 9-1-1 before he could commit. Sadly he is no longer with us (I miss you Sam). Well they were going through his phone and they found my messages to Sam telling him my story about how I learned to push the demons to the back of my head. Well they saw me as a danger and decided to take me to the hospital to be safe. They did a few scans. They made me talk to a counselor there and she tried to understand more of what I felt. So after about an hour she came up with a conclusion. I have bipolar depression and anxiety. They told me they were going to take me to the mental ward floor in the hospital for psychiatric evaluation. I was there for roughly three days. While there I learned that suicide is and never will be the answer. Take my story for example. I learned the hard way. Trust me mental hospitals suck. It's wake up take your medication, eat breakfast. then go to group session. Eat lunch. One on one session. Free time. Group session. Take medication. Eat dinner. Shower time. Sleep. Everyday for me was the same. I came back to find my family still not caring. My boyfriend (❤️Zach ❤️) was the same sweet guy I fell for. My friends missed me. I missed them. I missed Sam's funeral but not the memorial. If you ever need to talk to me. Go for it. I never thought I would see the light at the end of the tunnel but I did. Distractions majorly help as well. Watching YouTube and Netflix helped me. I watched people like Stephen Parker, my digital escape, crankthatfrank, Chris ryan, Robby, matthew lush, ellosteph, diegosaurus, Johnnie guilbert, Alex Dorame, Kyle David hall, Jordan sweeto, Bryan Stars, all mde members individual channels, onision, Shane dawson, drew monson, Damon fizzy, Tyler Hagen, Tyler oakley, social repose, twaimz, Trisha paytas. those were all people who helped me smile and laugh and cry when ever I was feeling down. Thanks to everyone who supported me. I love you. Stay happy not crappy. Life's a bitch don't quit. 😘