I'm sorry

This Moment

So I don't really know how things are going right now for me. I know one thing though. Don't get me wrong I like that y'all care it makes me slightly happier. I just hate when you all repeat the same questions like why I feel like this or if I have tried to go seek help. I honestly would like to talk to someone on here about something else. There are other things to talk about other than my death day. It is Christmas night. I want to be able to spend one last Christmas with my family. I don't want to just have them find me that morning and be sad on a really great holiday. I feel like I at least owe them that much. I love all of you. This isn't your fault. Think of it this way "people die everyday", don't think of it like I'm important. I'm not, I'm far from it. People always ask why I hate myself so much my response is always the same: "I hate myself because I honestly disgust myself. I am absolutely positively ugly, I'm fat, I'm a waste of space. I wish I wasn't even born at all." Those are the reasons I hate myself so much. I don't want to die I just feel like it's my only option. IT IS NO ONE'S FAULT SO DON'T BLAME YOURSELF AT ALL. This is my choice. I'd appreciate it if you would respect that.