My Own Hero

Shots

-SCARLETT'S POV-

"That bitch!"

I slid down to a sitting position against the door of my trailer, bringing my knees up to my chest and putting my head down. When we finally managed to reach the kiss in Jensen and my scene together, I had responded eagerly, wanting to memorize how it felt one last time, since we would most likely never do so again. The entire time I couldn't stop thinking about everything. Being blackmailed by Danneel, sleeping with Charles over the weekend, and then finding out Jensen was breaking Dean and Faith up by the end of the week. I wished I could turn back the clock and tell Jensen about the call with Danneel instead of doing what she told me to and breaking up with him.

Silent sobs wracked my body as I sat there, and I was interrupted by the familiar ringing of my phone.

"Hey, stranger," Tom greeted me when I answered. "Been a while."

"H-hi, Tom," I replied.

"Why are you crying, Scar?"

I laughed humorlessly, unsurprised that he had picked up on my mood so quickly.

"It's been a rough few days," I admitted.

And then I was explaining everything. Telling him about how Danneel called me and threatened to take JJ away from Jensen permanently if I didn't break up with him, how I had followed through and actually done it, and then hooked up with Charles over the weekend to help me forget for a little while. I told him about Jensen's ultimatum about breaking up Faith and Dean and how filming our first one-on-one scene since the finale had gone.

"Does he know?"

"What?"

"Does he know you were blackmailed? Or about you hooking up with Charles, which we are definitely going to talk about in more detail later, by the way?"

"N-no, he doesn't. The most we've talked to each other since I got back this morning was when I went to confront him after talking to Singer and Kripke about how Dean and Faith won't be in a relationship after this week."

"You need to tell him, Scarlett," Tom said. "If he knew you were forced into breaking up with him, I'm sure he would be a lot more understanding."

"I may have been blackmailed into the break up, but how is he going to react when he finds out I willingly slept with Charles over the weekend while he was breaking Dean and Faith up, too?"

"That's a risk you have to take. If he really loves you, then he'll forgive you, though."

"He told me to my face that he hopes they kill Faith off so he doesn't have to work with me any more, Tom. I think if he knew what I was up to over the weekend, he would go back to the producers and specifically request they kill me instead of just having them break up."

"But he might not."

"No, you're right. He wouldn't go ask them to kill off my character, he would just go ahead and kill me instead."

My voice was dripping with sarcasm, and I could practically see Tom's eye roll as he said his next sentence.

"Damnit, Scarlett, stop being so dramatic."

"I'm too sober for this," I muttered mostly to myself, even though I knew he would hear it.

"Alcohol won't solve your problems, Scar. And we both know perfectly well your tolerance for it."

"Yeah, the jackass who ruined our on-screen relationship gave me a nickname based off of that tolerance. Thanks for the reminder."

"So he's a jackass now?"

"Well, I can't very well call him a douchebag considering the history behind that term for us."

"Scarlett, please. Don't you think this is getting a bit out of hand?"

"Forget it, Tom. I'll talk to you later."

"Scar, wait-"

I hung up on him, not waiting to hear what else he had to say to me. Turning my phone on silent, so I wouldn't hear any other calls or texts coming in, I headed out to the parking lot to get in my car. I technically still had scenes to shoot, but at the moment, I didn't care. All I could think about was getting some alcohol in my system and trying to forget everything that was going wrong in my life. It didn't take long to reach Brewed Awakening, the little bar that Jensen had taken me to when I first started working on set.

"Tequila shots. And keep 'em comin'," I ordered once I was sat on one of the barstools.

The bartender raised an eyebrow at me, but other than that, he didn't question me further as he got out the shot glasses and poured the alcohol. It only took one shot to take effect as opposed to the average 2-3 it should have taken for me to begin to become drunk. It really was pitiful how low my tolerance was, though it was really helpful in situations like this.

"You do realize you're in the middle of work, right?" a voice said beside me as I downed a fourth shot.

"I don't care," I slurred. "I can't deal with the guilt of giving in to being blackmailed into breaking up with Jensen by Danneel and then sleeping with Charles over the weekend, only to find out that Jensen decided to take his anger out on the show and force them to break Dean and Faith up."

"Danneel blackmailed you into breaking up with Jensen?" Misha inquired.

"Yeah. She called me and said that if I didn't take the initiative and break up with Jensen, since he obviously wasn't going to break up with me, she would file for full custody of JJ and he would never get to see her ever again. I wasn't going to be the reason why Jensen lost his daughter, so I broke up with him, and then I wasn't thinking straight and needed a distraction without having to talk about what happened, so I called Charles and asked if I could spend the weekend with him. So now, on top of feeling guilty about breaking up with Jensen when I didn't want to, I feel guilty about sleeping with Charles. But I can't tell Jensen that because he'd get mad at me and he'd never want to see me ever again even more than he already doesn't want to see me ever again."

"He doesn't call you Lightweight for nothing, does he?"

"He doesn't call me that any more. But you are right about that."

"Okay, as your best friend, I'm obligated to cut you off."

"But I need more, Meesa."

"Yeah, definitely cutting you off," he nodded, sending the message to the bartender.

"You're no fun."

"I can deal with that. Come on, let's get you out of here."

"But I don't wanna go," I whined.

Misha ignored me, helping me off my stool and shepherding me toward the door.

"Hey, Meesa," I slurred as he sat me in the passenger seat of his car.

"What is it, Scarlett?"

"Does Je'sen hate me?"

"No, he doesn't. He loves you very much."

I nodded my head, closing my eyes as I leaned back against the headrest. The last thing I heard before we drove back to set was Misha talking into his phone.

"Yeah, I got her. We should never let her drink shots ever again, alright?"