Can I just be alright for a little while?

1. My bad life, not hers

The floor of the balcony felt so cold against my back. The reason why I was even laying here was a bit unsure for myself too, but it didn't really matter either. Nothing did. My right hand moved closer to my face, placing the cigarette between my lips so that I could suck the nicotine into my system and then I moved my it back to where it was while blowing out the smoke rings. I hadn't been sleeping for three days now. My eyes were red and they hurt. The bags under them made me look like panda. I should get up but I couldn't find any good reason for that. I had to go to work tho but even that wasn't motivating me to collect my body from the floor.

"Fucking insomnia..." I whispered quietly into the air and against my will, I pushed myself up. I looked around to the foggy city and sighed. Another day ahead without any sleep. My back was also hurting but that was no wonder, the floor was definitely not the comfiest place to lay down.

After a moment I got myself up and run my fingers through my hair while walking inside my apartment. The air inside was a bit chilly because the door had been open the whole time, so I closed it behind me and grabbed my hoodie from the sofa. I walked to the kitchen while rubbing my hands against my forearms in order to warm myself up a bit. With my shaky hands I reached for the coffee machine and turned it on. Wish that I would have an on/off button from where I could just shut myself down and sleep for a few days. While the machine was doing its rising cycle, my alarm went off somewhere in the apartment. Not that I needed it but I had turned it on last night just in case but I didn't even bother to go turn it off. It will stop in a while and honestly I had no clue where I had even left my phone. All I wanted now was some warm coffee so I opened the cupboard and took out my favorite coffee mug which was a black mug "wears black, loves coffee, avoids people" written on it in white. I placed the mug under the machine and pressed the button for doppio espresso. I needed something strong so that would be it, if it's gonna wake me up or not, is a whole another question.

While the beans were grinding and the liquid running into my mug, I went to wash my face with cold water and brushed my teeth. The reflection from the mirror was a bit scary, messy shoulder length red and orange ombre hair looked like a bird's nest and the rest of my face was just terrible, but the makeup will fix it after I got some coffee in my system. I had to get my eyes open first even tho they had been open for the past 72 hours.

I strolled back to kitchen, took my espresso and went to living room. Before sitting on the sofa I grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned on the TV. While sipping the espresso I tried to find something to watch but the whole TV was just empty, before I came across with some kid's channel that was showing Sponge Bob so I guess that was it. I just stared the screen, not really paying too much attention what the yellow sponge and his friends were doing in their weird under water World. My mind was pretty numb. Partly because of the sleepless nights but also because my long term boyfriend decided to go behind my back with my best friend and that is, as we all know, absolutely the best thing that can happen. It wouldn't hurt as much as it did if it had been some random woman, but it had to be mybest friend. So instead of losing only one important person, I lost two. So yeah, life was just absolutely fucking amazing.

An hour later, half past nine, I had managed to fix my face so that I wouldn't scare people with my scarecrow look-a-like appearance, guess that being an makeup artist comes in handy every once in a while. I pulled on black skinny jeans, black Vans t-shirt and a black cardigan because the weather seemed to be crispy today. I wrapped a grey scarf around my neck and pulled my black boots on before putting on my black leather jacket. I took one last look from the mirror, grabbed my bag and opened my door. Or that's what I was trying to.

"The fuck is this shit now...?" I mumbled as I saw a pile of boxes behind my door. Isn't this just great now? I pushed the door adding a bit more force to it and I managed to open it little more so I could squeeze out from my apartment. I saw three piles of boxes. One in front of my door, one in front of the opposite neighbour's and one in the middle. I stood there a bit, thinking who to blame when I heard someone coming up the stairs, another box in his hands.