Can I just be alright for a little while?

19. Nothing special

We stayed quiet for a while. I knew Alina did not like the idea of me sleeping with my bandmate. She knew the risks. So did I, yet I still did. Guess I did not care enough at the moment, or think enough. Or both.

"So what is the thing between you two? Together? Just hooking up? Rebound?" she asked. I shook my head. I wasn't sure what my feelings were if I had any left. Guess it was rebounding, guess it was hooking up. But I felt good when he was around..

"I don't know..Like.. It all started when he comforted me and.. I don't know.. I know we shouldn't but.. It just feels good to know that at least there is someone who wants me. Someway..." I sighed and took another piece of cake.
"Fuck.. Heidi.. That's not good.. There for sure is someone who would die to be with you, to love you.. Don't let some hot piece use you just because you think it feels good somehow..." Alina sighed and sipped her coffee.
"He isn't using.. I feel like I am using him to forget. He makes me feel good.. Fuck.. And then Eric is also acting like jealous or something and then there is this Hokka who keeps saving me..."
"Saving..Oh god don't say.." Alina knew that if I was drinking I'd probably need someone to help me home or at least somewhere safe. I might had a problem with alcohol.. A little. Not that I was an alcoholic but I just did not know when to stop.

"You know what I think about this all.. And I'm scared you know. That Jay thing is not good and neither is your drinking.. " I knew my sister was right. Neither of my doings were smart. But I needed Jay. I needed him to hold me, kiss me, be there for me when literally everyone else were only fucking with my heart. And occasionally I might needed a little bit of Jack or Jim too..

When I got to Ben's, Eric and Jay were having rather furious conversation and as they saw me, they got quiet. Eric shook his head and went to the garage, meanwhile Jay came to greet me. He pulled me into hug and I wrapped my hands around him.

"You look good" he smiled while holding me close. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent. Even that had a calming effect on me. I don't know what my feelings were anymore. Was I falling for Jay or was this still the aftermath of the breakup and the comfort he has been giving to me. I also had no clue about his intentions but I knew him so well that he wasn't a type of guy who would hurt someone who already was broken.
"Thanks... What was that between you and Eric?" I asked quietly. For some reason I was sure it was about me and him, and whatever Eric had told me after the competition. Jay looked to the garage door and then me.

"Don't worry about it.. It will pass.." he smiled and we started to walk towards the door.

"Was it about us..I know he is guessing that there is something going on.." I sighed and slowed my steps. Jay stopped next to me and lifted my chin up.

"What is between us is not his business, right?"

"I guess not..."
"So don't worry about it.. Like I said, it will pass" Jay smiled and honestly I really hope that it will pass because the air between these guys got so tense as soon as we got inside. I tried to ignore it, but it was hard. Eric greeted me with a nod but he wasn't looking at Jay very friendly. We still had a competition ahead, and to win, so whatever this was between them, should either find a quick solution or stop. It did not do any good to the band.

"Oh wow, look at you" Rob smiled. I chuckled and checked the mic.

"You should definitely have that makeup on Saturday too" he continued and wired up his guitar. Rob was always nice. Like Eric and Jay, also he was working out a lot. They all were. They all had tattoos and hot accent. Rob had pretty large tunnels and short black razor cut hair. I smiled at him and quickly looked at my phone. My picture was still getting new likes so I opened the app just to see what was going on.