"Adopted By" Oneshots!

Attorney Steingold To The Stand, Please!

Books: All my Adopted By books besides Adopted by DEH and Adopted by Superstore!
Cat's Age: 18
Josie's Age: 13
Penney's Age: 13
Valerie's Age: 11
Matilda's Age: 17

Penney's POV

"So, the school decided to host a court stimulation thing and we all decided to sign up." I said. "Is it bad that I know every single person in this room?"

"Is it bad that I have no hope for any of you?" Catlynn McLemore said. "I've run the debate club since I was a freshman, and I jumped at the chance to lead this thing. I mean, you guys go wild, but you do realize we actually need to do a decent job, right?"

"Define 'decent' for me." Red Ashley said, chewing on a piece of bubble gum. "Hey, Penney. Want some?"

"Sure!" I said. Catlynn rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, we actually need to get going, the stimulation thing is in three days!"

"Then why did the school just announce this on Friday?"

"I don't know! Well. Anyway, based on prior experience and other factors, I have your parts right here."

"What is this?" Harper Cambridge, Josie Block's girlfriend, said. "The school play? You know I hate acting."

"One, you jumped at the chance to be in Falsettos that one time and two, if you hate acting, why are you here?" Josie said.

"OKAY EVERYONE BE QUIET OR I WILL PULL A HEATHER CHANDLER ON YOU!"

"Did Catlynn just...threaten us?"

"I think she did!"

"In all seriousness, shut the hell up. Anyway-"

"Did Catlynn just say a no-no word?" Matilda Henson said jokingly, making everyone laugh. Catlynn groaned and said, "Okay. Here we go. Red, you're the judge."

"Alright!"

"Penney and Angeline...I don't know how to pronounce that last name...you guys are the lawyers."

"It's Ibragimov, and who am I representing?"

"You're representing...oh. Hey Angie, you're representing Asia Allburn and Penney, you're representing Harper Cambridge."

"What?!" I said.

"You get what you get and you don't get upset."

"What am I, five?"

"Oh my God. Okay...lunch is over, see you all tomorrow."

________

"That is not appropriate attire."

"What- also, you didn't tell me our parents were gonna be in the jury! Now my dad's gonna judge me!" Tilda said.

"Matilda...okay then. Our jury is made up of all our parents and Valerie." Catlynn said.

"What crime am I witnessing, anyway?" Reed Adler asked.

"Tax evasion?" Harper squealed.

"Arson?" Asia supplied.

"Oooh! Bank robbery!"

"It's shoplifting, you guys are shoplifters." Cat said. Harper groaned and said, "Not as fun, but okay."

"Come on guys, let's get going."

________

"Okay, order in the court? Do I just bang the gavel or..." Red said.

"Yes, Red, you bang the gavel." Cat said. Red banged the gavel and said, "Okay, I will now call Attorney...whatever your last name is...to the stand."

"Steingold." I said. "Or unless you mean the Russian kid."

"I mean you." Red said. I made my way to the stand and Josie started speaking in a monotone. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

"Yeah. I guess?" I said. Josie rolled her eyes and I cleared my throat. "My client, Miss Allburn..."

"My last name is Cambridge."

"Wait, what?"

"Your client ain't your girlfriend, Penney." Matilda said. I sighed and then heard our social studies teacher whisper, "I don't get paid enough."

"That's my girl?" my mom said in her best attempt to be supportive, but I could see all hope leave her eyes.

"Dad, are you recording this? Hey! I thought no phones were allowed!" Matilda yelled.

"IT'S A STIMULATION, MY GOD! Just say the lines and move on!" Catlynn said.

"There's a sign right there and the sign don't lie." I said.

"Oh my God. Penney. You do realize we're not actually on trial, right?" Cat said. "Or are you just that oblivious. I mean, your shoes are on the wrong feet right now."

"Oh, so that's why I've been having trouble walking! I thought I just grew out of my AFOs."

"Oh my God. Okay, I'm declaring both of you guilty just so I can get out of here, I'm done, this failed, peace!" Red said.

"Doesn't the jury decide who's guilty or not?" Valerie said.

"The jury looks like they all regret their life choices." I said.

"I kinda do?" Grey Henson said. I sighed and said, "Do you think we should tell the principal to never make us do this again."

"Oh, this is gonna be a yearly thing! And since Red and I are graduating, Matilda's in charge!"

"Matilda's WHAT?"