Beautiful Apparation (Tony Perry FF)

fourty-two

I can't sleep or eat. It's becoming a cycle that's slowly becoming a habit. Fuck, I'm really letting myself fall apart, aren't I? All over some boy. That's the problem though, he isn't just 'some boy.'

Suddenly, my phone goes off breaking my depressing thoughts. I answer without giving it a second thought. It's been awhile since I've heard some one else's voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey best friend," Jaime. Can't remember the last time I talked to him.

"What's up?" I yawn into the phone.

"Why are you yawning, it's one in the afternoon! Get ready if you aren't already. I wanna take you somewhere."

"Jaime I don't kn-"

"No excuses, you're coming. I'll be at your place in an hour." He hangs up the phone. I groan, stretching on my bed.

Daryl barks from the side of my bed.

"I'm going somewhere today, okay?"

He stares blankly at me, with that I begin to get ready.

>>>

Where we're going, I have no idea. I haven't drove around these parts of San Diego yet. Jaime keeps quiet about the 'secret location.' It feels weird to be outside of the house. Yea, I still go to work, but this is different. This is actually going out, somewhat voluntarily.

"We're finally here." He smiles, parking.

I didn't even notice that we pulled into the parking lot of an aquarium. I smile, the first time in awhile, and I know today is going to be okay. My mind decomposed all of the depressing thoughts when I exited the car. Jaime excitingly held my hand and together, we walk inside the cool building. After Jaime paid for our admission, the exploring began. I'm excited, I can't lie. I haven't been to an aquarium in awhile.

The octopus exhibit is my favorite. Mostly, because it holds one of my favorite organisms, the cuttlefish. Jaime and I probably stood there for about ten minutes watching them. They're magnificent, intelligent creatures.

"They make flashing patterns to stun their prey before eating them," I say.

"Really? That's pretty evil, but cool. I think I saw a stuffed animal of one in the gift shop, back that way." He points. "I know you want one."

"I'll buy one later, but for now, I want to wait till they get fed."

After that ended we found ourselves in the Open Sea exhibit. Basically, there's a massive tank, it holds sardines, a hammerhead shark, and enormous tuna. Jaime and I sit in the front of the tank, waiting for their feeding to begin.

I can see him observing me as I watched the fish swim around. He wasn't slick at all, or maybe he wanted me to notice.

"What?" I ask, not taking my eyes off of the school of sardines, avoiding the sharks. The way the moved so in sync is appealing to the eye.

"Nothing," He says.

"You're lying." I look at him now. He's curious about something else, I can tell.

"You're really into this stuff, it's adorable." He shows off his dimples.

"Nice one. Now what are you really thinking?"

He pauses and has my full attention now. I can feel him get tense. It's rare to see Jaime like this. He's usually so loose and willing to say whatever is on his mind. The fact that I have to squeeze it out of him worries me.

"Are you okay?"

"Okay?" I raise an eyebrow.

He scratches the back of his head.

"Yea. Vic called me up and told me you weren't being yourself. He figured I could help."

"So you're here because Vic told you to come?" I fume, getting up. I should've known. He didn't bring me here cause he wanted to. As I'm walking away his arm grabs mine. He's gentle but at this point I'm pissed. I turn, ready to cause a scene. "I don't need your sympathy Jaime."

"Audrey, you know I care about you. I didn't come just because Vic told me to, I came because I wanted to see if it was true. Before we got here, you weren't yourself. I saw it all over your face, you've gotten thinner too, I'm worried."

Am I really that obvious?

"Well I'm great," I say sarcastically. "Just dandy, is that what you wanted to hear?" He's smarter than that.

"No," He says sternly. "I just want to know the truth. I want to know what's going on with my friend."

"I feel like shit, there. I admitted it, now what?"

He seems to get impatient.

"Let's work through it."

"You don't understand. It's not something I can just talk about out loud. Jaime I appreciate the help, I really do, but right now I'm in a dark place, I don't want to drag you down with me."

"You won't be."

Before I can respond, he kisses me. I don't know how to react or what to do. Eventually, I give in, deepening the kiss. I want to feel something again, if I try hard enough, maybe I would find it, hope that I can get over Tony.

I pull away feeling regretful.

He half smiles, pushing the hair out of my face.

"Are you ready to go home?"

>>>

Jaime thrusts into me one last time before laying down next to me. Our bodies are covered in a thin layer of sweat and our breathing still uneasy. I feel disgusting, physically, and mentally. I had sex with someone, and it felt wrong. I'm becoming someone I don't even recognize.

This isn't me.

The old Audrey wouldn't do this.

"Audrey," He gets out in the middle of breaths.

"Yea?"

"Do you- shit. I probably should've asked you this earlier, before that. Anyways, are you really into me? Or was that nothing?"

I don't know what to tell him, kicking him out before he asked anything like that was my plan. It's too late for that now.

"Be honest," He adds.

"Jaime, I'm sorry. I only let it happen because I've been wanting to feel something lately. Sorry if you feel used, that wasn't my intention."

"I'ts okay. I'm sorry too," He begins. "I couldn't keep my feelings under control. I would ask you to be my friend, but I fucked up enough times."

"No, you haven't." I look over at him. "I fucked things up."

He rolls his eyes.

"Audrey don't do that. Blaming yourself doesn't help with the situation you're in. "

"You don't even know what I'm going through," I mumble.

"Well then tell me, I'm a great listener, and I give great advice. Girls love that shit."

I keep a straight face. "It's not that simple Jaime. I wish I can tell you, but I can't, okay? Just trust that I'm working through it."

"Okay I will, but remember that I'm always here."

"Thanks Jaime, I mean it."

"I love you Audrey," is the last thing he said before grabbing his clothes and leaving.

What have I gotten myself into?

---

well that escalated quickly...

this is short too ew. sowwy.

any predictions?