Journey Series: Ellick

Admission

Ellie had never wanted to admit what she was scared of. Not even after Nick had attempted to comfort her, claiming that everyone was scared of something. She had definitely never imagined revealing her deepest secrets in this sort of circumstance. But at the moment, she was not thinking of herself. Only Nick. The case they had caught had unexpectedly connected back to one of his old undercover cases. One involved in taking down the leader of a child trafficking ring who had broken out of prison, and had still somehow been operating during his time of incarceration. The moment Nick had realized what it was, a dangerous fire sprung into his eyes. He walked, more like slunk around during the entire investigation. At any remarks that required a response, his tone was dark, guttural, and short. Ellie knew deep down, that if he got the chance, he would kill that man. They had reached a rather climactic point and all hell broke loose. Somewhere in the midst of the firefight, Nick was gone, and so was the leader of the ring who he had thought was put away for good since all those years ago. Ellie had a not-so-sneaky suspicion that it was not a coincidence. Which of Gibbs's rules was that? Too much going on to figure out which one right now. That brought her to this moment. 

Torres firing a single shot to the ring leader's leg, taking him down. That should have been enough. At least, for most. But this was Torres. Ellie pleaded with Gibbs to let her go ahead alone. He agreed quickly, knowing that a mass confrontation would most likely only accelerate the situation toward an undesirable outcome. Ellie ran towards him in mild horror. Adrenaline shot through her, knowing she had mere seconds to stop what would most likely follow a verbal confrontation. She caught snippets of the words he hurled in his face, sure that his fists would follow. " I should have put your sorry ass in the ground when I had the chance four years ago. I am not-- going to make the same mistake today." The man smiled cruelly. Psycho, she thought. As much as he did deserve this, however, they had a job first and foremost. With a final burst of speed, she put herself between Nick and the man. Nick growled. "Get out of my way Ellie! " The dark, cruel fire was raging in his eyes. An animal lurked in the flames, moments from pouncing. "Nick, don't. Don't do this." He pushed her roughly out of the way and advanced on the slowly retreating man. Ellie followed by his side. Gritting his teeth, again he growled, "I am putting this bastard in the ground, painfully." Once again, Ellie put herself between Nick and the man. "Nick, stop. " He shoved her again. "No." Ellie moved once again between Nick and the man. Frustrated, Nick yelled, "Ellie I will put a bullet in you first if I have to to get to him." There was no hesitation in his words. But Ellie knew she had to keep fighting. Fighting to bring back the part of Torres that she knew. What can I say? I know that I can't reason with him. What can I say to bring him back? Then it hit her. The animal in his eyes was fear. 

"Nick, I'm scared," she blurted out. He stopped dead in his tracks. "I am scared of not being strong enough to handle my own problems. I got mad at you for being overprotective of me because I thought it meant I was too weak to handle things on my own. I am scared of being the cause of someone else's pain. I am scared of losing people that I have learned to care for. Qassim. Reeves. I am scared of not being able to use logic to solve problems. If I can't solve something, I just know it will drive me crazy." She watched as the fear in his eyes, the fury, the desire to torture this man to death, dissipate. She mustered all her remaining strength, to tell him the final thing she was scared of. "And-and, I'm scared of losing you." A gleam appeared in his eyes. "If you do this, if you kill this man, I will lose you. Maybe not physically. But you will be gone. The Nick Torres I know will be gone. I realized recently, I barely know you. But what I do know is that under that rough exterior, you are kind, compassionate, and funny. And I want to be able to get to know you more. But I can't do that if you do this. Because if you do this, I lose you. Not only that, but you'll lose yourself. You will lose everything you have built here for the price of one scumbag's life. Are you willing to risk it all for this?" Ellie held her breath. 

The unquenched fury was gone. Softly, Nick said, "No."