Journey Series: Ellick

Does It Ever Stop?

Ellie POV

The take down of the cartel's operation went down without a hitch. They went in guns blazing and thanks to a few calls, the military was able to participate. Somewhere in the middle of the chaos, they lost Torres. Ellie's mind flashed to the moment only a couple years ago when they had lost visual on him. She found him, handcuffing the man who had previously been holding a gun to her face. He was limping and cursing Torres up and down, and his face was...suspiciously damaged. His left eye was black and his nose was bleeding. However, Ellie conveniently had plausible deniability. Torres passed him off to Ellie and then rushed into another room. After securing the man, she found him in that room reassuring the twenty or so girls it contained. "Estás seguro. Los demonios se fueron. Está seguro." You're safe. The demons are gone. You are safe. He went into every room before female members of the military followed to help them out and reassured them.

No one escaped. They had caught every member of the cartel. The only exception was their boss. "Rico is the face of the operation," Torres had explained, "he's not the head, but to cut off the head you have to find the neck. We get Rico, who is the main man's source to the profits, we cut the one at the top off and stop up his source of income. Then that sends him on the run. But with no connections, no money, someone will snap him up at a border." In his explanation, he had been deliberate. Concise. He stood. Being on his feet had always provided him with a sense of security. Always being ready to go at a moment's notice.

The mission was an all-around success. Back at the military base, they had a brief celebration, breaking out beer and being at ease. Bishop found Torres sitting on a bench in the sun. "Hey," she said as she sat beside him. "Hey," he said. She glanced at the drink in his hand. It was open, but he hadn't drunk it. "Ellie, you don't have to worry about me. I wasn't planning on drinking anyway." "How did you-" she began. "Oh please," he smirked, "I've been an undercover operative for most of my life now. I am literally paid to notice things like that." She grinned. "Things like how my neck sweats when I'm lying? Noticing something like that takes something like super-human abilities." "You don't have to be extraordinary to notice things. You just have to get used to paying attention to every detail. No matter how small. Just cause you think it doesn't mean anything doesn't mean it couldn't all the same." After a little stretch of time, he said softly, "I know because I know it's a problem for me. And I know you know that. I know you must care about me because every time we go out you always watch me when I drink. And you aren't very subtle when you cut me off." Another pause. "I have to say, that was pretty badass of you to do what you did." She blushed. Praise from Torres was rare. "What are you talking about?" He scoffed, "Don't play the humility card. Your whole play with Rico was incredible. It was perfect. You caught him off guard and, well, I'm just glad it went to plan." She burst out laughing, "I had no plan, Torres. Gibbs and McGee were talking about leaving and all I was thinking was that there was no way in hell that we were going to leave you here after three months of having nothing." Then Torres laughed. A laugh from Torres was, well it never happened. It was music to her ears.

Then he went and performed a very Torres-like move. He broke the moment with, "Ellie-" "No," she interrupted him, "I know." She knew. As he had handed Rico off to her, she had seen that look in his eye. It had been there as he went in to reassure all the frightened women. Determination. The fire of determination radiating through his eyes. He had started this mission. He wasn't going to be able to stop until he had officially finished it. But also that same sort of desperation. He hadn't found what he was looking for. He was still empty, and he still needed answers."Ellie, let me-" "You should go," she interrupted him again, "you'll need to tell Gibbs. Otherwise, we are going back to D.C. in a couple of hours and you'll be with us." "Okay." She watched him get up and walk toward Gibbs. Tears in her eyes, she looked away. She couldn't watch this.

Nick POV

Ellie joined him on the bench in the sun. He still hurt like hell and definitely wasn't ready to talk about what had happened to him. He figured Ellie was brimming with curiosity. Luckily, the swift shift of her eyes to the bottle in his hand gave him an easy way out of that conversation. "Ellie, you don't have to worry about me. I wasn't planning on drinking anyway." "How did you-" she began. This time the roles are reversed, he thought in good humor. "Oh please, I've been an undercover operative for most of my life now. I am literally paid to notice things like that." She smiled that bright smile of hers that was incredibly intoxicating. "Things like how my neck sweats when I'm lying," she noted, "noticing something like that takes something like super-human abilities." As much as he liked the idea of playing off of that theory, taking a more serious route, he said, "You don't have to be extraordinary to notice things. You just have to get used to paying attention to every detail. No matter how small. Just cause you think it doesn't mean anything doesn't mean it couldn't all the same." If he were to be honest with himself, he had taken extra special time to learn certain things about Ellie. Why? He sort of knew the answer. He just wasn't ready to admit it yet. In fact, there were a lot of things he wasn't ready for. Giving up on this mission was one of them. They had taken from the body from the head, but the head was out there, trying to roll away and regenerate. And then there was still that hollow cavity inside him. Maybe, just maybe it would help if he could complete this.

Not wanting to think about what he would eventually say to her, he began the good old buttering process. "I have to say, that was pretty badass of you to do what you did." He caught the color that rose in her cheek. But then her features were schooled and all she said was, "what are you talking about?" He scoffed, he played the humility card all the time. But he wasn't about to let her get away with it. "Don't play the humility card. Your whole play with Rico was incredible. It was perfect. You caught him off guard and, well, I'm just glad it went to plan." His finish was rather weak, but he had started rambling and so needed to finish it out somewhat respectively. What she did was... Okay yeah, so I'm impressed. It was a pretty badass move. Anyway... She burst out laughing. He loved her laugh. It wasn't a giggle or that cute snort she did sometimes. A genuine laugh. He felt like to hear it had made everything worth it. Just about. "I had no plan Torres. Gibbs and McGee were talking about leaving and all I was thinking that there was no way in hell that we were going to leave you hear after three months of having nothing." Then he laughed. To think that Bishop had done something so un-Bishop-like and to take it farther and do something that he would have done was hilarious. But he couldn't wrap himself in this to deep. He had a job to finish, even if his reasons for wanting to finish felt weak.

He started to tell her. She already knew. And he should have known by now that he wouldn't be able to explain to her why. Because she already knew why too. He was still running. She claimed to not know him that well. Which, was true. But what she did know was enough to frighten him. So when she gave him permission to seek out Gibbs, he went. He wasn't proud of leaving her there. But she knew. He had to do this. So he approached the older man. "Gibbs, we need to talk." The eyes of steel bore gently into his. Softly, he said, "I know." 

Gibbs knew. Of course, he did. He saw it in the periodic glint of tears in Bishop's. Even McGee, in his apparently blissful ignorance, had a hard time pretending to remain as such. Their lone wolf was going on the run again. So when Torres approached him, yeah, it was not a surprise. "Gibbs, we need to talk," he said. Why everyone seemed to preface verbal communication with those words was beyond him. "We need to talk." Okay, well then talk. Instead, he said, "I know." Torres grinned wryly. "Guess you already know why then." He simply nodded. Silence stretched itself thinner and thinner. "Does it ever stop," Torres asked abruptly. That feeling of emptiness? The desperation to fill up the holes inside? The hopeless feeling when nothing works. Will anything ever work? He appreciated his relationship with the younger man. It was the only one where he could use the least amount of words possible. "Maybe," was his answer. "I don't have all the answers, Torres. Maybe you'll find some. But the thing is, no one has all the time in the world to look. At some point, you'll have to come back with or without what you think you're looking for. Ya understand?" Torres nodded his head. "Good," he said.