Lost without you (werewolf jjk)

Part 1

[JUNGKOOK PV]

I could feel my body sweating again. I was feeling cold and hot at the same time. I wanted to wake up, to open my eyes, but I couldn't.

"Aaaah." After of what it felt like eternity, I finally woke up. It's was this nightmare again. Always the same. Always horrible and always without ending.

"Get up Jungkook, you are not going to sleep again anyway. Better to do something more productive."  I thought, and I went to the bathroom. After a much needed hot long shower I went to the kitchen for some coffee. I tried to be quiet since everyone else are probably still asleep.
"When I will be able to sleep more than just few hours. My mind and body need rest but it is so difficult sometimes." 

After finishing my coffee, I went out in the forest to run. Like I do every day. My wolf definitely need it after that dreadful night.  It was still dark outside, since it was so early in the morning. I could almost smell the cold in the air. Winter is coming. My favourite season of the year is close. I can't wait for the snow to cover the land again. To see the pups playing with it, to help them build a snowman like we do every year. I love pups and I love more playing with them. Will I ever get my own?

Every day I take a different path, in case I find what I long for years now...

My mate!

Two moths ago I turned 22 and it was the same day that my father decided to pass me the leadership of our pack. It caught me off guards. I know we have discussed this before but I didn't know that he was think of doing so soon. I told him...I told him many times that I was not ready for something like that. I didn't know if I was capable to lead wise a pack. If I was going to be a good Alpha like my father is. If I was going to take the right steps, to always protect and take care of them without someone beside me. I know my parents will always be there for me, as well as my friends, but... But I am still not sure if I am going to make it without my mate. I see how my mom stand next to dad, never leave his side, guide him right when he loses his way and give him her biggest smile to cheer him up when he needs it. I want that too. I want to see my mate's smile just once and I promise I will be the best Alpha that ever existed.

I feel so lonely without her. Like the most important part of me is missing. I feel like I am missing her more and more every single day, so funny isn't it. I haven't even met her yet. It's been already four years since I was supposed to find her. The rest of my members have already found theirs. Namjoon has Jisoo, Jin has Anna, Hoseok has Lisa, Taehyung has Jenny, Jimin has Rose and Yoongi...well that's another story for another time. See, I'm "alone" in a full house.
Am I mateless? Can't she finally show up?

But why she hasn't appeared yet? Why? Is she scared that I might be a bad mate? Does she live far away from here? Has she not turned yet 18? What if she is already in love with someone else and she decides to reject me; What if she thinks that she is probably better without a mate? No, no that it's not possible. Everyone need their mate in order to live, to be healthy and happy. I need her. I need her SO bad.
And I promise I will be the most caring mate ever. I'll hold her hand on our walks, I'll cook her favourite dishes, I'll keep her warm and safe in my embrace when she has nightmares holding her as tight as I can. Well maybe I am the one how needs that, my deepest desire is for her to hold me when I have those terrifying nightmares, I want her to hold me in her arms in order to never have them again. I need her warmth and care. When she finally comes to me I'll never let her go. I'll protect her. I'm never going to let anything happen to her. I'll spoil her. I'll shower her with all my love! I'll give her the best of me!

"Please come to me! I really need you!"