SCP 1471 [An anomalous life]

XII

With every step I took away my actions began to weigh on me more and more.

One part of me wanted to turn around and apologize to Mia, for having reacted like that and behaved like a real idiot.

The other just wanted to laugh at her for what she did.

I didn't mean to do it, I just...

...

I regret doing it, but at the same time I feel that she deserved it somehow.

I held my head with both hands and pulled my hair slightly.
It's not my fault, it was the movie..

(I just need to go home, and get some rest...)

(...)

(As if that would fix things.) -I thought bitterly.

I put my hands in my pockets and started walking back home, rain pouring over me.

I was so deep in thought that I almost didn't notice the incessant vibration of my phone in my right pocket.

With trembling hands I placed one of the earphones I had hanging in my ear.

-...
-Quentin? -Mal0 called timidly, her concern clear in her voice.
-Are you all right?

-...

I gave a long sigh to calm myself and looked up, at no one in particular.

-I don't know, Mal0.
-I'm...
-I'm a little...
-...
-I don't even know how to explain it.

-...
-You can talk to me anytime.
-It doesn't have to be right now.

I know I was in no hurry, but I didn't want to worry Mal0 any more than necessary.

-...
-You saw the movie, right?

-I did.

-I've never been a fan of war movies, I always found them boring, and just... average. -I started.
-But this movie...
-...
-I don't know.
-It... It really upset me.

-...
-I understand.

(No, no, you definitely don't understand, Mal0.)

-To tell you the truth, it upset me a little bit too.
-I thought it was a normal feeling, being my first time experiencing something like that.
-...
-It doesn't seem to be the case. -She added, almost whispering.

I don't know what to answer, and right now I'd rather keep quiet than risk ruining it with Mal0 too.

-That feeling of helplessness at being unable to alter the plot of the movie and just watch things happen.
-...
-You felt it too, didn't you?

-Aha. -I nodded, perhaps too quickly.

-I'm sorry. -She quickly apologized.
-I didn't mean to annoy you.

-What?
-No, no.
-I'm just a little...
-Nervous, that's all.
-Haha... -I laughed, clearly uncomfortable.

-Quentin?

-Yes?

-Are you...
-Are you sure we're going in the right direction?

It took me a few moments to get my bearings in the city.
It was getting later and later, and it turns out we had missed home by a few blocks.

-Oh.

_______________________________________

As soon as I got home I ran into my room and slammed the door behind me, threw myself on the bed and covered my face with a pillow, without even taking off my wet clothes.