sex therapy || chanlix

#4 Masturbation

masturbation;
stimulation of the genitals with the hand for sexual pleasure.

•:*✿.': ✿.︎-*✿.;.✿': ✿.︎-*✿.:•

Jajangmyeon.

the first proper meal of the day felix consumed. his lips curled around the noodle as he slurped the substance, causing a small amount of the black bean sauce to paint around the corner of his lips. the feeling of his stomach being filled, satisfied him and his tastebuds. 

while he chewed, he examined the window he sat in front of, feeling contempt on seeing the busy streets and traffic of the city. he was at a random cafè he found while wandering around the street he was dropped off at. it wasn't too big or expensive, just having a seating arrangement inside of around three to four tables. it was enough for felix though, and the food tasted acceptable.

he was still new to these streets, and discovering around the neighborhood would always help him in the future. and since he was in no hurry of returning back to his apartment, knowing that he would just be faced with an empty home (because his girlfriend always worked late shifts). after shifting to korea, he spent many months lazing in the comforts of his home, but now he dreaded every second of loneliness. so he decided why not explore the city more today, also considering that he was out of home anyway.

he stuck his fork in the bowl, twirling it around to shovel a bite of his noodles to chew on. as he lifted his head and glanced around the large framed window, he caught sight of a familiar caramel haired male who was walking across the street. he squinted his eyes to focus his view on the familiar specimen, but just as he did- the caramel haired glanced at him and locked eye contact. felix instantly set into panic mode, and shot his gaze back down at his bowl, trying to appear as if he wasn't just caught staring at a random person crossing the street.

however, his attempts of trying to appeal busy didn't affect the caramel who stopped midway in his tracks and ran back at the side he crossed the street from. his guitar that hung on his back bounced with his steps. he jogged his way over closer to the brunette, and entered the small restaurant.

felix still hadn't given up on his act of appearing busy and slurped on his noodles, hoping the caramel haired would run back. he didn't know why he was so nervous on his arrival, maybe it was the fact that he had to socialize. and socializing with somebody new, is definitely not something felix would willingly be able to pull off.

"hey."

felix cursed under his breath almost instantly on the sensation of a hand being weighted on his shoulder. as he turned around to encounter the chestnut haired guitarist, his aura immediately changed as a guileless smile faltered over his face. "oh, what a fortuity to see you again."

felix persuaded the male to seat himself to his front, occupying the empty chair next to him.

the brunette didn't need much obligation and quietly seated himself, a small smile wearying on his face to return his acts of kindness.

"would you like to have something? i can pay—"

"oh no, that won't be necessary." the chestnut cut him off, flailing his hands around in denial, "we're quite literally strangers. i don't find the need to have you do so much for me already."

"well, you did help me back there." felix recalled back to the scene where the brunette gave him advice in the waiting room, "i can pay you back as a thank you.."

the unknown brunette was flattered by his kindness, almost not believing that felix didn't want him to be there in the first place.

but deep inside, felix still yearned to be away from socializing with people. the main reason being his own actions, which the brunette just witnessed. felix was a people-pleaser. his moods could change faster by the seasons, just to appear overly generous to the other. he cared unhealthily lot to appear fine and considering towards others so much, that he started to hate himself for it. he hated every inch of his personality when he was put in the spot of acting kind. because sometimes, he'd end up making the person feel uncomfortable because of how considerate he was being, and would often be used as an disadvantage to him. he'd be used, or taken for granted just for his kindness and he hated that part of himself. although, anybody else would call him a overthinking psychopath for hating one of his "best features" in their view, he still hated the feeling inside of him. because every time he was alone again, he'd think back to see how much of a maniac of a person he was being and regret it. regret was something he could not deal with.