sex therapy || chanlix

#31 pique

'we're we just a joke?'

•:*✿.': ✿.︎-*✿.;.✿': ✿.︎-*✿.:•

in the fraction of a heartbeat, felix felt his breath hitch as his pupils widened, astounded.

"s-seoul-hee.."

he was stammering, trembling and panicking all the same time. for the first time in forever, he couldn't read whatever was rummaging through seoul-hee's mind at this moment, because he was too afraid of his own engaged thoughts.

a part of him wanted to cry, a part of him wanted to scream, and the other part of him just wanted to dig up his own grave to bury himself alive. not even chan's presence could ease out this lethal fear that replenished his heart.

it all just broke down. all the laughter they shared, moments filled with nothing but pure joy, it all came crumbling down to brim every creak of his heart with guilt and resentment towards the title he was given as a 'boyfriend'.

before he could even choke out a sob, or explain what they could've possibly done, he skipped off the counter, pushing chan as if he wasn't the person he'd been caught with and ran to his girlfriend.

it was just an ignorant push..but why did it hurt?

but seoul-hee had other plans than the encasing hug her boyfriend tried easing her out with. she stepped back, the lose grip she had on the thin box she held slipped out of her fingers to fall on the wooden floor with a thud.

the box was supposedly heart shaped and had a label with her handwriting, 'happy valentine's day!' . the box of chocolates she spent picking specific chocolates to her boyfriends liking, was just dropped to the floor so carelessly. but she was bound to not care, about anything except what she'd seen.

"b-babe, i didn't know you're back in korea, you didn't call me or text me beforehand?"

felix was out of his mind. there wasn't a way he could normally converse with his girlfriend after what she'd witness. but he really didn't jinx it when mentioning how he was completely numb and insane. his brain couldn't comprehend the future, because he was so pusillanimous about the present. overwhelmed would be an understatement to how he felt, because right now the most valued person to him was on the verge of tears with her eyes shadowed with betrayal.

"is this why you wanted to know beforehand?"

felix's heart shattered by the second. the way her voice broke, and the way those tears failed to stay in the creases of her eyes, it was enough to have him tearing up too. he felt oversensitive whenever he hurt his loved ones, and seoul-hee being one of them was a sight he couldn't get himself to imagine.

"answer me, felix!"

he flinched when she raised her voice, the tears finally escaping when he blinked through his soaked eyelashes. he couldn't handle the words stinging every inch of his heart like a painful nip.

seoul-hee huffed when she received no response. she couldn't bare to see felix's head lowered or him being so silent about the topic when she herself was close to losing it. from what she heard from jeongin- who also managed to betray her trust, her focus was more on the brunette who dared to stay silent at a moment like this. she didn't exactly know what she wanted to hear, but it just felt like she couldn't keep herself bottled anymore. like as if this one event was enough to make her break her fragile glass protection and fly into painful shards to pierce into her heart.

"i-it's not what it looks like—"

"really felix!?"

the brunette just teared up more when she cut him off. his tears becoming and endless stream down his cheeks. the more he stood there listening to seoul-hee sob, the more he punched himself. this growing resentment towards himself was sure to leave a trail of trauma he couldn't escape from.