Love

40

After awhile everyone left and it was just me, Kaila and both of the babies. August hasn't came back yet but because they want to make sure he is okay. Kaila was playing with AJ and Bleu was sleep on my chest. "So I saw how much Kelly was loving AJ today and I was thinking what if I let her raise AJ. Like me and August will still have custody and be his parents but like he can live with her." I said.

"I think its a good idea because Kelly been wanting a baby and she so in love with him but also I feel like taking on two babies is sooner or later going to get crazy for you. I know your strong and I think you can do it but I do not want you trying to take care of both of them and go into postpartum. But I don't know how August is going to feel about that because he knew this was going to come and you giving AJ to Kelly whether it be temporary or forever you would be proving him right." Kaila said and then I really thought about what she said. I didn't see it in that way.

"Yeah your right." I said. "Now you can still talk to August but don't get mad if he gets mad or says I told you so because he did. But you know if this does get too much for you AJ can always come with me. I'm sure Kelly would be open to taking him too. Like you have help but its just about if your going to use us or not. Cause I know you and you rather figure it out all by yourself just like me and just like mommy." she said.

I nodded "I know. I'm not even going to have the talk with August. I'm just going to leave it where it's at." I said. "Talk to me about what." August said walking in the door. I turned around quick then looked back at Kaila. "I'm going to take AJ upstairs and give him a bath." she said getting up. Ms. Sheila walked in after him "Aww look at her sleeping so peaceful." she said. I got up and laid her down in the play pin.

"Well I'll be over tomorrow to help out with the babies. I'm going to get go because I am tired as hell." Ms. Sheila said then leaving. August sat on the couch "So you going to tell me what you and your sister was just talking about." he said. "Um its nothing important is why I said I wasn't going to say anything." I said walking into the kitchen. "Love you know I know when your lying." he said. "Fuck" I said under my breath.

"Lourdes I'm not playing with you." he said. I walked back into the living room "I was just thinking about AJ going to stay with Kelly for a little bit. We would still be his parents and have custody, she just would be taking care of him temporarily." I said. "No absolutely not. You sign up for this and kept telling me you wasn't going to change your mind so now this is what we have to do. I knew you were going to change your mind about it." he said.

"August you have to realize this is a lot for me. Yes I knew it was going to be hard and yes I knew it was going to be a lot but I basically doing this by myself. You can't help because of your condition-" he cut me off. "So you basically saying that I'm not helpful. I can't do a lot right now but the little shit I can do. You acting as if I'm going to be like this forever. I just need to heal and I'll be straight." he said.

"August that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just saying a mother always does more than the father just by default whether the parents are together or not. I have to take care of two." I said. "Okay cool. Then take care of two." he said and got up going upstairs. I rolled my eyes and picked up Bleu. I took her upstairs with me and put clothes on her.

I then put her in her car seat. I picked it up and went to AJ room where Kaila and him were. She was putting his clothes on "When you done put him in his car seat." I said putting down Bleu. I packed a bag for AJ and Bleu "What are you doing?" Kaila asked. "I'm staying with Chris tonight." I said. "Lo you know thats not healthy. Yall have to figure this out." she said. "I'm good." I said grabbing Bleu's baby bag and then her car seat.

"Bring him downstairs with his bag please." I said walking down stairs. I went outside to the car and put the car seat in there. Kaila came out with AJ and put him on the other side. I put the baby bags in the front seat "Watch them real quick while I get my stuff." I said to Kaila then going back inside. I went to the room and August was laying down.

I grabbed a bag and went to the closet "Where you going?" he said. I continued looking for my clothes. He then walked in the closet "I know you heard me." he said "I'm leaving for tonight to give you space." I said. "No you not." he said. "Watch me" I said grabbing clothes and putting them in the bag. He snatched the bag away from me "I'm not about to do this with you bro." he said throwing my clothes out the bag then throw the bag.

"I can come back and get clothes. Or just go buy more its nothing." I said walking out. "Lourdes stop fucking playing with me. Go get my kids out the car and we going to talk about this shit." he said. "I'm straight." I said and starting walking out. "STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING KID. WE HAVE TWO KIDS AND CAN'T BE ACTING LIKE THIS." he yelled.

I started laughing "You feel better?" I said. "Yo your acting very crazy right now and this is not who you are. Maybe you do need space cause this not you." he said and then walked into the bathroom. I rolled my eyes and then went downstairs. Kaila was sitting on the couch and she had both babies still in their car seats.

"Ms. Sheila said she will come get Bleu and I'm taking AJ to Kelly. You need to talk to him and cut whatever shit you on out. Because he right this is not you." she said getting up. "Ill see you tomorrow." she said and then took AJ. I went to pick up Bleu and started crying. She was sleep but I just wanted to hold her cause they both right. What just happen upstairs is not me at all. I don't know what got into me but I have to fix this.

I cried and just held Bleu. I gave her a kiss on her forehead and played with her little hands. August came downstairs and sat next to me. He realized I was crying and pulled me in. He kissed my forehead "I love you no matter what." he said. I cried more and Bleu woke up. "Give me her and go clean yourself up. She doesn't need to see you cry." he said taking her from me. I looked at him "I love you so much. More than you will ever know." I said. He grabbed my face and kissed me "Go clean yourself up." he said.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I wiped my face and then went back out to the living room. Ms. Sheila was sitting on the other couch holding Bleu "Hi Love." she said. I smiled and sat next to August. "Um so August was just telling me she hasn't tried the bottle yet." she said. "I haven't tried it yet cause I didn't think I would be away from her so soon." I said. "Well I'll just stay in the guest room and when she hungry I'll bring her to you." Ms. Sheila said getting up.

She went upstairs and then it was just me and August. He looked at me and I just looked down and played with my nails. He lift my chin so I would look at him "Talk to me. I'm listening." he said. A tear fell "I didn't mean to make you feel like I was saying your useless. You just know how I feel like I have to take care of you even when you healthy and not hurt. I basically was just saying its going to be lot cause right now I feel like I have 3 babies. Also, I was just trying to help Kelly out because she been wanting a baby and I see the way she is with AJ. I didn't mean nothing by it. I love AJ with my heart." I said.

He wiped my tears "I'm sorry that I took it a difference way. But we have two babies now. You can't pack up and leave every time we argue. We have to talk and work it out. I love you and your not going no where." he said and kissed my forehead. "I love you." I said. "I love you." he said. We just sat on the couch for alittle and talk before going upstairs and going to bed.