Temporary Secretary

Part 40

20 May 1981

12:00pm

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A lot had happened in the past four months, so it'd been far from your mind.

Between your realization of what had befell you, and being unsure of what you were going to do about it (whether there'd actually be a child to tell him about), the situation concerning Paul had been more on the forefront of your mind. It was his child, after all. He had the right to know first and foremost, and then you'd try to piece it together from there.

But that stage had since passed. You missed the period in which you might lose it, and it seemed like you were most definitely having this child. Things with Paul had gone much differently than you'd expected, and it seemed you were both in it for the long haul. (For the time being, at least).

And yet, the person in the world you were closest to, your dad, knew none of this. He didn't even know about Paul in the first place.

Well, it wasn't as if you'd brought it up before. "Good evening, daddy! I bet you'll be pleased to know I'm sleeping with my boss. Five months now! Isn't that just something?"

No, definitely not.

You'd told him about the temporary secretary gig though, that much wasn't a secret. The work was enjoyable, that much was true. You did find it to be a fun job, beyond the sex. Working behind the scenes, seeing the characters Paul worked for. A lot more fun than just pushing sales figures around, even if you were still working with files.

He was glad to hear you were doing well. You didn't have to be a high roller high status CEO to have any good graces with him. You appreciated that. He didn't seem to push you to places you didn't need or want to go. So long as you were content, and living comfortable within your means. That's all you needed, really.

You'd call once or twice a month at least, and send letters home now and again. Sometimes you both tended to lose track of time. You worked, and so did he.

But, you hadn't properly called since early March. That had been before you found out.

You didn't know where the time went, so much was on your mind.

You were afraid to call. That somehow he'd see through your voice, and he'd know what had happened.

That was a completely irrational thought, sure, but that month especially, you were ill, and wracked with nerves.

In any case, you knew you had to tell Paul first. It was his kid, and that gave him a right. Especially if he wanted to get rid of it, or if he reacted badly, and you had no other choice. It didn't make sense to share the news before then.

It was still early. If it did end up not taking, you didn't want to worry him for nothing. That's why you'd waited to tell Paul also, if all this could be avoided. After all, if there was no kid, why drag what you had with him back out, and make things worse for the both of you?

In the case Paul did react negatively, and you'd resolved that getting rid of it was the best thing you could do, not wanting to bring a kid into such a situation, you didn't want to bring your father into that either. The same went for if you had to give it up. You didn't want to worry him, that he had a grandchild somewhere in the world that you weren't able to care for.

You wouldn't want to stick it with him either. Your dad had already raised you. You didn't want to make him go through that, especially as he got older. There was a chance he'd see obligation to the kid, and try anyway if you couldn't. Even if he didn't complain, you didn't want to put him in that predicament.