Temporary Secretary

Part 77

15 November 1981

10:00am Sunday

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It was Sunday again, the one day you could have him to yourself.

You were tired still, but had slept a bit better. Maybe you were getting used to the routine of getting only a few hours of sleep at a time. At least you didn't have to leave the bed for night feedings.

The sun was out, unseasonably, though it wasn't warm. You had fully awoken for the day, and sat up against the headboard, feeding the baby. At least you weren't having trouble with it.

Paul was still in his nightclothes, openly staring as you did so, eyes lidded. You didn't say anything. You didn't know if it was worth the trouble, or if he even realized he was doing so. At least the action itself was less awkward to you, having become routine.

It was cold now, so he wore a set, it was dark blue and striped, very proper. His dark hair was tousled from the night.

He did look away, self-conscious, when he met your eyes. Maybe he didn't realize he tended to stare.

"Let's go out today." He said. "Take her out for the first time, some fresh air, like."

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You were apprehensive. Despite the sunshine, it was rather cold out, and you didn't want her to freeze. As if she was a pet you couldn't take out of the house.

Paul was dressing her, a vest underneath, knit stockings and mittens, long sleeved gown, wool cardigan, and cozy bonnet. The pram was ready, another blanket to keep her warm.

"It'll be fine." Paul said, reassuring. "It's not as cold out today, and she'll be just fine in her woolens, won't she."

He leant down, giving her a kiss from within the pram.

It was your first time going out as well, since the hospital.

You were also comfortable keeping at home. It was cold outside, more often wet than not, loud.

She was ten days old now. She still seemed as small as when you brought her home. You had grown accustomed to the routine, but it was still early days. You seemed to get better by the day in terms of physical recovery.

You took the lift, through the lobby, then you were back to the outside world.

You shivered. The fresh air felt good, but it was freezing out.

You looked down into the pram. The baby's eyes were open, but not alert. She looked like a doll, dressed up like this. Her cheeks were pink, her mouth covered by the cardigan. It was still large on her.

You began to walk, likely to the park. The movement seemed to relax her, drifting back to sleep.

She had gotten more normal looking by the day. She was a very sweet looking baby, even if she came out puffy and red. The jaundice cleared up over the week. She had dark hair, a little mouth, and large sleepy eyes, downturned like Paul's. She was a very quiet baby, at that.

Paul seemed to share the sentiment, beaming happily.

He worked Mondays through Saturdays, leaving early in the morning, returning in the evening. He made most of the time he did have.