Temporary Secretary

Part 53

21 June 1981

11:00pm Sunday

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Paul sat up quickly, despite seemingly ready to slip under in a moment's notice. He was completely awake now.

He was smiling rather big.

"It did?"

It was starting to hit right afterward, the words coming from your lips before you'd realised it yourself.

You were still processing. You didn't know what you felt, there was only a blank whiteness.

Looking to Paul, you could see the excitement in his features. That seemed right to feel, whatever he did.

You just needed a moment, and you'd feel it too.

But... still only a blank.

Sometimes when things happened, it was as if it was happening to somebody else. You couldn't yet comprehend it as yourself, even if it were your own sensations.

He came closer, hands over your hips, then your sides, as if trying to feel it for himself. The sensation had stopped, though, or too faint to feel.

The questions slipped out of Paul without much thought.

"What did it feel like?"

His thumb was grazing your waist, pressing into the flesh.

You thought. It was like you were feeling it again. Just the faintest feeling of a bubble's pop from the inside. To prove there was really something in there, and... it moving, and clawing inside from beneath the skin.

Squirming... growing...

You felt very cold.

You felt a clammy paleness bloom from beneath your skin. It was sickening. It moved over you like a creeping layer of static, rippling your flesh in the most abhorrent way.

Your arms curled around your body, breath feeling taken from you, shoulders feeling tense and difficult to bend.

Your gaze was off to the distance, past him. Your face felt achy, causing your features to slack.

"Oh, no, no, no..."

Your head was shaking no, though it didn't feel like you were the one to do it.

He was only in your peripheral, but you could see Paul's features turn from amazement, to concern.

"What's the matter?"

His voice trailed off at the end.

You felt ill. You didn't know why you felt so ill. What you did know, was that you shouldn't be feeling this way. It was unnatural to feel such a way.

Your mouth was slack. Your eyes crept back up to Paul's, who was understandable rather disturbed by your state. Your eyes had a pitiful, though ill look to them.

"Love, what's wrong...?"

His demeanour was slipping, reflecting your own disturbance.

You hadn't planned for this. You weren't expecting a kick today, or perhaps it had never settled in that it would happen at all.

But it would happen, and it had. You were really carrying a child, and sooner or later, children would move, and they would be born. Really actually born, this wasn't a game.

Luckily, your concern at the distress rubbing off on him overpowered the horrid feeling enough to speak.

"There's nothing wrong. It's not... pain, or anything..."