Temporary Secretary

Part 74

5 November 1981

10:00am Thursday

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You were shocked out of the darkness.

You were being suffocated. You were squeezed tightly, breath knocked out.

You didn't know where you were, or remember who you were. Your heart rate shot up in a blind panic, not processing it.

It felt like you hadn't slept a second before being suffocated awake. Your heart raced, instinct taking over.

"She's wonderful! Just wonderful!"

You knew the voice, but didn't process right away, or anything else. You made a pitiful whine.

"Shit, sorry, sorry..."

You felt the weight lift off you, feeling relief at that, and the recognition of the voice. Things began to come back to you.

The voice was familiar, so was the touch.

But then you realised how exhausted you still were, the pain and ache throughout your body.

It was dulled, though. You must've finally gotten some painkillers. The IV was still connected.

You also noticed how you were still bleeding. You were wearing some mesh undergarments, keeping a pad in place. It wasn't very dignified, but it was concealed by your sheets.

Paul had forgotten himself in his excitement.

You blurrily blinked your eyes open. You needed a moment to refocus.

Though his weight no longer suffocated you, he was still very close, nose to nose, almost. He was gripping your hands between both your chests.

You felt self conscious. You probably looked like hell. Well, you'd gone through it. Your eyes were probably puffy, dark circles, hair unkempt.

You couldn't have slept very long, though it was now day. No sunlight though, cloudy November weather. They must've made Paul wait a few hours before letting him in.

Your eyes took a moment to focus. The clock read 10:05am.

Everywhere was dull aching pain. But you were sure without the drugs it would be sharper.

In your delirium though, you were very happy to see him.

It felt longer than it was, being without him. It was silly, but you were used to having him around. You'd been living with him for a while, sleeping in the same bed. Things felt normal again.

Though you didn't regret your decision. You'd wanted to be alone. And now he was here again, and all was well.

Paul paused for a moment to allow you to regain coherence, his expressive eyes wide, creased at the corners.

He then beamed, speaking with badly subdued excitement.

His grip tightened, though less intense than before.

"You've seen her, haven't you?" He said. "It's a girl, just like I thought! My little girl!"

Your head tilted, brows creasing. It took you a moment to recall.

You did notice you were empty. You didn't feel that your stomach had gone down all the way, but you didn't feel so full anymore, and there was no movement inside you for the first time in a while.

You did remember, you'd seen her. You'd held her too, but didn't fully comprehend it in the moment.

"She's in the nursery." Paul said, eyes entranced. "With the other newborns. I went and saw her from the glass."