Temporary Secretary

Part 35

2 May 1981

8:30am Saturday

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On Saturday morning you awoke just as you'd fallen asleep. Unclothed and beneath the duvet, him curled to you.

It wasn't difficult simply picking off where you'd left off.

You didn't even need to say much. (too much talk would be a hassle, anyhow. Neither of you wanted, or needed to come to a consensus over what was happening.)

Paul had only just awoken, but it didn't take him long reverting to his classic wants. He was very much eager, rested against the headboard, eyes wide, hair mussed.

You dipped between those lovely legs, taking him in your mouth. So heated and needy... You'd missed the taste.

Paul had been already worked up,

Paul had been excited before, but he suddenly hissed, more of a stiffness to him. You looked up in lazy questioning.

"Oh... I can't stop thinking about the lemon in there..." he grumbled, apologetically.

You gave a huffy laugh in response.

"Lemon McCartney." You mumbled nonsensically, climbing off anyway. "That's absurd."

You rested back down, instead grazing your lips against the curve of it, making Paul stiffen and hold his breath, his exhale shaky.

You could feel the blood pulse within the shaft, a mind of its own down there. Paul himself seemed hardly in control of it.

Even with his pleasure, and not wanting what you were doing with him again to stop at any cost, he still seemed hesitant, evidently the lemon on his mind.

"It won't harm the baby, will it?" He said, tentative. "Fucking you?"

You lifted off a second time, brows furrowed. You looked downward, conscious of the area, as it was also on his mind.

You'd hardly begun to show, but nothing more than the slightest thing. And that was when you were unclothed.

You could feel it in your lower abdomen though, sort of surreal, the constant presence. Even so, it seemed the thought of it was even more so on Paul's mind than yours. Well, it seemed to be that way for the entirety of the process too.

You wondered when you'd start to actually show, and it'd be obvious it wasn't just fullness. You wondered if he wouldn't find you attractive then. Whether for superficial reasons, or the idea of his child in there being an immediate turn off. What if the sex would stop?

After the whole ordeal of it starting again. God knows you'd not be able to once this thing was out, demanding and screaming. You'd be lucky to get your sleep, much less worry about gratification.

Maybe Paul would regret it then, not being the fantasy he'd imagined and longed for all his life. He'd grow tired of you, and the life he'd trapped himself in. Working all day, just to come home to a needy infant, being kept up, and doing it all over again the next morning. The days of carefree sex and fun far behind him.

Maybe it should be worse for you, wasn't it your youth being robbed? Well, not that you'd ever made a point of enjoying it fully.

Maybe it was predestined for you to just slip into a comfortable domestic life upon turning 23. Right at your birthday, too. It'd been a good two decades and three years.

What else was there you wanted to do? Travel... there was no place you really wanted to go. California maybe. But it wasn't as if children weren't allowed there. But California was far...