Sitio Series 3: Scheming List

Chapter 54

Meeting

“Malapit na ang kabwanan mo,” ani nanay habang hinihimas ang malaki kong tiyan. Natawa ito ng mahina, “parang kailan lang noong pinapadede pa kita..” I panicked when she started to cry, “ang Dorothy ko..” I teared up a little and hugged my mother.

Napagpasiyahan kong manatili sa bahay nila mama rito sa Sitio Buka/Ibuka may konting takot mang naramdaman ay kailangan ko iyong ipagsawalang bahala. Gremory told me to tell my parents what happened all this time, they thought I was in Manila living a luxurious life, they thought the times I disappeared without any trace was because I was abroad for a movie... The guilt was heavy that's why Gremory urged me to let go some of it.

Buong magdamag kaming magkasama ni nanay ikinuwento sakanya lahat ng nangyari ang mga mata nito’y namamaga na sa kakaiyak. Mother Karina and my nanay were okay although they agreed not to see each other again for the sake of everybody's inner peace. Iyon lang naman ang mahalaga, hindi naman kailangang magpatawad agad-agad at kung magpapatawad ma’y kailangang ipagpatuloy ang koneksyon. Things happened unexpectedly, secrets that was hidden unfolded on it's own ways.

It lasted for how many hours before telling my mother I wanted to see the chapel.. Again, it's nostalgic... We went there and did a picnic, it felt peaceful kahit ako lang mag-isa at walang hinihingi na kahit ano.. Mas masarap pala sa pakiramdam ang hindi pinipilit o ipinagsisiksikan ang sarili.

“Kukuha lang ako ng prutas doon,” ani mama at iniwan ako sa may malaking acasia na nagsisilbing sandalan ko’t payong sa init na dala ng panahon. Mula rito kitang-kita ang malawak na palayan at sa hindi kalayuan ay ang chapel na lagi naming pinupuntahan ni Gremory.

Peaceful.. I've always resented this place, this very same place where I met him and experience all the hellish days.. However, the resentment was vanishing when I'm seeing this place.. Na kahit anong liko ang gawin ko’y babalik at babalik pa rin..

I was bullied because I was too good, I was sold because I was too trustful, I was hurted because I always wanted someone to love me and I was tricked because I'm too naive.. I felt my baby's kick, s/he seemed to understand my reluctance about this matter..

When I was young I thought life is like a disney movie... Both parents wasn't present when I was growing that's why it resulted on thirst on love, I thought I was Cinderella that's why I have to be kind and docile and in able to find my prince I have to endure all the criticism and insults... Wind blew and it made me chuckle.. This is reality.. And I have to move now..

Nanay came back with a smile. “Sigurado ka na ba sa annulment? Lalaking walang tatay ang apo ko lalo na’t kasal naman na kayo ngayon at mukhang ayos naman..” Bakas ang pag-aalala sa mukha nito.

We're married only on the paper. Yes, those feelings still remains but Gremory and I weren't really okay. We need time to heal and distance, because if we kept staying by each other without growing apart then everything is useless. We knew than anybody else that our relationship felt like running on circles, a cycle of pushing and pulling, hurting and smiling at the same time. And we don't want that especially our little one is coming.

I held her hand, “nay you told me that love has it own ways.. If Gremory and I are meant to be then fine,” I tilted my head. “Papalakihin namin itong anak namin ng maayos kahit na magkalayo kami.. Hinding-hindi ko ipagdadamot ang anak ko sakanya dahil parehas naming kailangan ang isa’t isa.. It may sounds twisted and contradicting but I hope you'll support me, nay..”

“Kung saan ka masaya ay naroon lang ako at susuportahan ka...” My nanay kissed my forehead, “lumaki ka ng napakatatag at malakas tandaan mong ipinagmamalaki kita Dorothy.. Tulad ng pangalan mo noong una ka naming masilayan naghatid ka ng saya at ngiti sa mga labi namin ni Ernesto..”