The Long Lost Mafia Princess

Chapter 85

Beep-beep-beep

I woke up by my alarm beeping, first day of school.

It's the first day of school.

Oh no.

I looked at my clock, 4 am.

After struggling for a while, I get up and get ready to work out.

The past few days I've been spending my time with mostly my family and Killian.

I've also been spending some time in checking some things for school and just some mafia stuff.

But for the most of all, I've been riding on my motorcycle.

Blake taught me a lot of stuff that I didn't know before I could even turn on my bike, but it was worth it.

Blake and I have been practicing everyday and it's really fun, it feels amazing.

The wind in your hair, the speed making all my thoughts disappear, it makes me calm, happy.

I can't wait for when I turn 15, than I can ride my bike outside of our land and drive through the city and streets.

I walk to the gym and start with running on the treadmill until I couldn't feel my legs.

After that I started punching the punching bags, taking all my stress and frustration of going back to school out on it.

All the things from my past school came back.

All the bullying.

Kick

All the name calling

Punch

All the hate.

Punch.

All the kicking, punching, skin carving

Kick kick punch kick.

Before I knew it the punching bag fell to the ground.

Shocked, I staggered back.

"Oh no no no" I muttered, a brick forming in my throat, I feel like I could cry at any moment now.

I'm so scared and- and...I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

"It's fine, don't worry. We have all done that before, you're not in trouble." Allesandro said from behind me.

My heart skipped a beat from the scare, I didn't know he was standing there. 

I just looked at him.

I'm not feeling myself today.

I'm scared and nervous and a lot of more fearful emotions that I can't seem to shake off.

The brick was now more of a lump, my eyes burned from the tears that I don't want to let fall down.

Saturday, I had talked about this with my therapist.

We still haven't really talked about my past, we've mostly been talking about how my life is now and my anxiety and depression.

We talked about how I felt about going back to school, I'm glad but also not either.

I don't know what to do.

I thought that punching that bag would help with the stress and fear of going back, but it didn't.

No instead I just brought all of these memories from my past back.

Normally the punching and working out helped with my emotions, but I guess not this time.

I was always glad to be in school, then I wouldn't be with them but I knew that I'd still have to fase the other hell in school.

It was bad but not as bad as it was in the house.

But now, now that I'm finally starting to get my life back together and I'm finding my happiness again with help of my family,....I don't know. 

I just feel like going back to school might break all the progress I had made.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Allesandro.

He had walked up to me, I hadn't noticed before but I do now.

He lifted my chin, making me meet his eyes.

His eyes softened reading all my emotions in my eyes that I couldn't keep hidden anymore.

"Oh baby" he gently spoke.

"I don't-" I couldn't finish my sentence, my voice breaking, tears filling my eyes once more.

He pulled me into his embrace.

Tears started falling out of my eyes, I tried to keep my sobs quiet so he wouldn't hear but eventually I let go.

Loud sobs escaped my lips, while Sandro just held me tight too him.

"Sssh you're okay, calm down...Deep breaths baby, deep breaths." He cooed me while stroking those familiar circles on my back.

After a while when my sobs had gone down a little, he picked me up.

We walked towards my bedroom where he placed me down on his lap while he sat down on the couch in my bedroom.

A few minutes later, my sobs had died down.

"Do you want to talk about it?, you don't have to if you don't want to, but is there anything I can help you with? You can always talk to me baby, you know that right?" I just weakly nodded my head which was cuddled into his class.

After a few seconds, I started talking "I-..I don't know Sandro. I guess I'm just scared, no it's more than that...it's this- I don't know how to explain it." I told him.

"It's okay if you don't know. Why are you feeling the way you do right now? Can I help with anything?"

"No,I don't think anyone can help me with this. I'm petrified of going back to school Sandro, it's just bringing all the memories back from the past. I'm scared that it'll be just like back then. That I'll get b..bullied again and have no friends, that everything that we've made progress on will be going down and bad again." I spoke my voice cracking in last part again as I lifted my head.

"Oh bambima no, don't think like that. I know it's scary and that your afraid and stuff, but you can't think like that. I know that now that you've been reliving your past again that that makes everything even worse, but you can't give up. I know you can do it, that you'll make it in school. You're smart and beautiful and kind, Valentina you're perfect and if other people don't see that than that's their problem not yours. Not everyone you meet in life is going to like you and that's okay. I know you're scared and nervous and a lot more emotion that I can't even imagine but what I do know is that you will be able to overcome it. And remember, most of your brothers and cousins will be there too. If you want than I can ask the guys who are in college if they can come and eat lunch with you guys or maybe just come over to check up on you. They will be there for you, just like we, we're just a phone call away, remember that okay." He said as he kept stroking circles on my back.

I just nodded, processing everything he just said before hugging him again.

"Thank you" I sighted out.

His only response was to hug me back tight too him too.

After a while he said, "Now, you need to get ready for school. You need to be downstairs in an hour. You'll be okay honey, I promise. Just breathe and then the rest will follow." He said pulling away from the hug and giving me a kiss on the head.

"What about the punching bag?"

"I'll deal with it, don't worry." He said before walking out of my room.

I closed my eyes taking a deep breathe in and out before I walked to my bathroom to get ready...for school.