The Long Lost Mafia Princess

Book 2 chapter 63

Allesandro calls out for me once more so we break the hug before I walk to the garden.

I close the door behind me and make my way over to the middle of the garden where Allesandro is sitting down on the grass.

I look up at the stars and beautiful sight before me with the trees in the distance.

It's quiet for a while until Allesandro starts talking, "so how are you?" He asks.

"I'm okay, you?" I return the question.

"I'm doing well" he says.

I nod my head awkwardly which the silence becomes too.

"Everything going okay with Rom-" he starts but I cut him off.

"Allesandro could you just cut to the point, I'm really not in the mood for some small talk" I say while trying not to sound mean.

"Right-" he starts than clears his throat really quick, "-so, I-euhm, I want to apologize for what happened" he says.

I nod my head, "okay" I say in a whisper while continuing to look at the stars that litter the dark night sky.

"Look- I shouldn't have done what I did" he says now turning to me.

I keep looking forward while I say, "you shouldn't have" I agree, talking under my breath.

"I know, I was just trying-..." he stops talking not knowing what to say.

"You broke my trust in you, I hope you realize that" I tell him.

He nods his head, "yeah I know and I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for?" I ask him but continue talking myself, "for telling my darkest secret to a person that was a stranger to me- even though You knew that I didn't want anyone knowing or for getting caught with betraying my trust?" I ask him, now turning to meet his eyes.

He stays silent, not answering.

"Well that's clear than" I say while trying to get up.

Keyword: trying.

The second I try to leave, Allesandro grips my arm and sits me back down rather harshly.

I look away from him while swallowing down the brick that started to grow in my throat.

"Val" he starts but I once more cut him off, "stop- it's fine, I'll get over it" I say but he doesn't let it go.

He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his side.

"I'm really sorry Val, I shouldn't have went around and spilled all of your secrets to Adriana but I thought I was doing something good" he says.

"Something good?!-" I say shocked as he nods his head, "-Allesandro with all do respect, nothing about what you did was good. I hated the way Adriana looked at me with that pity" I say.

"I was just trying to help. I wanted you to be more comfortable with her so I told her do she wouldn't touch you and stuff so she'd understand" he says.

I let my shoulders slump while tears emerge in my eyes, "you could've just asked me"

"You would have said no"

"So? Is it so bad that I want to keep my past with abuse, self harm, eating disorders, anxiety, self hate, depression, suicidal thoughts and so much more to myself and the people I trust?" I ask him as a tear falls down my face but I quickly wipe it away.

"No no I get that, it's just, I-...I don't know"

"You could've just easily told her that I don't want to be touched" I tell him while looking at the stars.

He takes in a deep breath, "Val, I-I'm sorry, I didn't think about that honestly" he tells me, honesty clearly evident in his voice.

I nod my head, "it's fine, it'll take time to forgive you but..." I stop talking not knowing how to say it.

"What's it you want to say?" He asks rubbing my back a little.

"I-...I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully trust you again and if I do it will take a very long time" I say hesitantly as my voice breaks a couple of times.

I'm just trying to be honest with him. Ever since them and past friends, I don't trust easily and when I do and you break it. It's more than difficult to win my trust back.

And I don't really know why but telling him that I'm not sure if I'll ever get to trust him again, hurt me too.

He looks a little hurt but nods his head in understanding.

"I understand" he says while tugging me closer to him.

We stay silent and keep looking at the amazing view before we decide to call it a night and go back inside.

I say goodnight to Allesandro than I leave so he can get back to work and I go upstairs to get ready for bed.

As I walk in my room, I see my mom sitting on my bed.

My body immediately tenses as I can only see her yelling at me while bringing up my past.

"Val" she says immediately noticing my presence in the room and stands up.

I keep standing in the doorway as she makes her way over to me.

"Mom" I greet her back but don't meet her eyes.

She comes closer to me and when she reaches out her hand, I do flinch even though I tried to suppress it but she ignores that flinch and tilts my chin up, making sure not to hurt me.

"Keep your head up, Val, you're a strong girl" she says while looking me in the eyes.

I nod my head when she releases my chin before she walks me to my bed.

I sit down next to her as she takes my hands in her.

"If you don't want to talk right now, that's completely fine and understandable and than I'll leave but I'd like to talk to you right now" she tells me while drawing some circles on my hands with her thumbs.

"We can talk" I say after a few seconds but still lower my voice so she wouldn't get mad.

Something I always did when I was with them.