The Long Lost Mafia Princess

Book 2 chapter 10

As soon as Matteo sits down properly and has a grip on me so he doesn't fall off firefly, I start her and we drive away.

———

We walk into the ice cream shop and immediately Matteo runs up to the display where the different kinds of ice creams are standing.

I chuckle a little and walk to Matteo's side.

Walking into the store my heart rate goes up immediately knowing that I'll have to talk to a stranger.

So many things could go wrong. I mean what if my card suddenly doesn't work or I take too long to put everything back in my schoolbag and people start complaining.

I take a deep breath knowing that I have to be strong for Matteo and put a smile on my face.

"Which flavor do you want?" I ask him while taking out my wallet.

"A scoop of cookie dough, please"

I smile brightly and nod my head, "sure bud" I tell him and take out my credit card.

"What flavor are you going to take?" He then asks me.

"Me?" I ask shocked, I wasn't planning on eating one myself.

"Yes you"

Not waring to disappoint him and ruin the day I force a smile and say, "I'll just take a scoop of vanilla" I tell him.

He gives me a comforting smile and nods his head before I order.

My heart rate speeds up even more but I start talking while Matteo stands closer too me, hoping to give me some kind of comfort.

I think he knows about my...things.

Like he has seen my family and friends help me with certain things, like with eating and my anxiety.

Like when ordering for example, I have been ordering for myself for the past few months. But it never gets easier. It's scary and I can't explain why. I don't know why my heart rate speeds up when talking to groups or strangers. I don't know why my hands or legs suddenly start shaking and bouncing. I don't know why my heart at the most random times in the day suddenly drops. Like literally drops, just suddenly. I don't know why and I can't stop it.

So Matteo has seen people holding my hands or praising me for eating certain things or eating in general when it's a difficult day. And I hate the fact that I, the person who's supposed to teach him things, give him advice and more....can't really do that for him. That I'm supposed to be one of his role models in his life just like our brothers, parents, uncles, aunts and grandparents, but that he doesn't get that. That he gets me instead.

"Can I please get a scoop of cookie dough ice cream for him please-" I feel Matteo nudge my leg a little so I continue, "-and a scoop of vanilla ice cream for me."

The man behind the counter nods his head, "is that in a cup of in a cone?"

"Both in a cup please"

"Okay, that will be 4,50$" the man says.

"With the card please" I tell him while lifting my credit card.