All that I Want

Losing It

I break the silence on the way home, "what cities are you performing in?"
He sighs sadly, "Chicago, NYC, Miami, and Tennessee."
"All the big ones," I note, "why not LA?"
"I don't know," he shakes his head, not taking his eyes off of the road.
I sigh, "I don't even get to see you perform."
"I'll perform for you," he says, "any time you want."
I smile at his words before asking him the dreaded question, "when do you leave?"
"Next Sunday, bright and early flight out to Chicago."
"We only have one week," my voice cracks.
"I know," he nods glumly.
"What are we going to do?"
"Spend every second of it together." He says matter-of-factly.
I nod, "that'll work."

***

As soon as he pulls into the driveway we get out of the car and walk over to my house. I unlock the front door and walk in to see my parents sitting on the couch.
"Hey," I say gloomily in greeting.
In response my mom says, "you went out looking like that?" And shakes her head in disapproval.
She scoffs as I run up the stairs and into my bedroom, slamming the door shut once Chase is inside with me.
My phone buzzes and I glance at it to see I got a message on TikTok:

charlidamelio: Nice period look today 😂 no wonder he hasn't slept with you yet, can't even dress up for a day out

I scoff before locking my phone and throwing into my nightstand drawer, "as if this night can get any worse! First your tour, then mom, and now - ugh!"
"Hey," Chase says gently, "relax."
"How can I relax, Chase?! I'm pretty sure I'm fucking losing it right now!" I take in a breath, pacing the room. "You're leaving, mom's silently judging me for my choices on what I wear, I'm on my period, and I just can't."
He wraps me in his arms and pulls me to his chest, "breathe," he whispers.
I struggle to take in a breath, on the edge of hyperventilating.
"Like me," he takes in a deep breath and holds it fro a few seconds before slowly releasing it.
I try my best to copy him as he repeats the process several times, and I eventually return to breathing regularly.
"It's okay," he says soothingly, "it's going to be okay. I don't have to do the tour."
"You're going to do the tour, and you're going to make it back to me," I say sternly.
"Okay," he sighs, "I don't know how I'm going to survive without you, though."
"I don't know, either," I say into his chest, "but we will. We're stronger than that."
He nods before leaning down and kissing my forehead.
"You need to feed," I say. "You haven't in a while."
"I'm okay," he shrugs.
I pull back and glare at him, "you're going to feed. Now."
He laughs, "since when did you become the one with the power to compel others?"
"Since I've been dating you," I laugh.
We sit down on my bed and he obediently bites down on my wrist, sucking my blood. As he bites down a little harder, a small whimper escapes my lips and I feel him smirk against my skin.
"No teasing," I whisper with a breathy laugh.
He moves his lips long enough to whisper, "it's only fair." He smirks before biting down on my wrist even harder.
I bite my lip to hold back a moan as he continues to lick and suck my wrist.
When he's done, he leans up and kisses me roughly, pushing me back on the bed as he deepens the kiss. He hovers over me as he licks my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I gladly give to him.
His hand slides up the hoodie I'm wearing and my breath hitches in my throat as he unclasps my bra.