𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒆 - 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒔 𝑹𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒊

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E L E N A

Waking up like this, gives me so many good feelings and deja vu's. Thomas' arms are wrapped around me, tied. I don't notice he is already awake until he talks to me. "Good morning pretty girl". She morning sun shines bright into my room. "Good morning, Thommy". My body shakes, I'm so cold. I wear nothing and nothing is covering me.

"Are you cold?", I nod towards Thomas. He grabs the fluffy blanket of the ground, wrapping it around me. My head lays down on his chest and I pull one leg over his. The guitarist is humming 'I wanna be your slave'. In my head I sing the lyrics.

December 9 2019

Angry I'm putting all my clothes and stuff in my suitcase. I stayed at Thomas his place for at least a month, but maybe it was too much. I throw all my clothes in the light pink suitcase, while Thomas is yelling at me. "Just stop controlling my life, Elena!", he sound mad, which makes me even angrier.

"You can also thank me for caring so much about you, instead of just keep yelling, Thomas Raggi!". My legs make a run to the bathroom and I collect my stuff there, it's almost everything. "I'm not a fucking child, you are too protective". He stand in front of the bathroom door with his hands in his messy hair.

This random deja vu gives me chills. It was our first fight, about something so stupid. Thomas was nineteen and I was eighteen. I just moved out of my moms house, but my own place wasn't ready to live in yet. So Thomas asked me to stay at his. But maybe it was a bit too much. A bit much for us both that we were always around each other.

After that fight we didn't talked to each other for three days, but that was too long for us to live without each other. Yea, three years ago our relationship was difficult. Like Ethan always used to say, "Thomas and Elena, the couple who can't live with and without each other".

My thoughts fly away when I realize Thomas is holding me, and caressing my cheek. I never expected us to get back together, I thought he was done with me. But after what happened last night I don't think he is done with me yet. "Should I make you breakfast?", Thomas gets his head up and presses his lips on mine.

"I love a good breakfast, you know". Without saying anything more my boyfriend gets up and walks towards the kitchen, it's weird thinking about him as my boyfriend again, but it feels so damn good. I don't even have to tell him where he can find all the plates and food. He used to practically live here, so he remebers everything. Through the door I can see my guy in the kitchen, only wearing a boxer. I bit on my lip and see my phone lighting up.

I almost get a heart attack, it's my dad. He sent me three messages. The relationship with my dad is difficult. My mom and dad used to be the best parents in the world, sweet and caring. They both were protective, but they were very openminded.

When I was fifteen they were getting a divorce, which broke me. My perfect family was breaking apart. My mom stayed the same, she is the one who wanted it. She just wasn't in love with mey dad anymore. But my dad changed after the divorce. The first months he was broken, but at one point it just all disappeared and he turned in a completely different person.

He started dating someone else, Samantha, a real bitch. I don't like her, she don't like me. My dad changed because of her. All his emotions disappeared , and he became a cold person. I blame everything on her.

When Thomas and I became serious, I decided to let him meet my parents. My mom was everything I ever wanted, a heart warming person. She welcomed Thomas like he was her own son.

My dad was nothing like my mom. From the moment he saw Samantha didn't liked Thomas, he didn't liked Thomas. He had a chat with Thomas alone. Later he told me that my dad said that I was too good for him. It made me angry.

*messages between Elena and her dad Manuel (her dad)*

M: Hello Elena

M: when are you coming over again

M: I haven't seen you in a long time

E: I don't have time at the moment dad, and the last time I was there it wasn't that fun, remember

M: ELENA! I'm your dad, you can make some free time for me.

E: next weekend.

My phone lands on the night stand and Thomas comes in with fresh pancakes and strawberry milk. "Awh Thommy, this is so sweet". I grab my bra of the groud and put it on. Thomas sits down next to me and strokes my legs while I eat the pancakes. I hear my phone again, it's my dad again, I ignore.

"Who was that sweetie?". "My dad, he wants me to come over", Thomas gasps. He is scared of my dad, and I completely understand. I take his hand and kiss it. "Can you come with me, I want to bully him", I grin. Thomas cuckles and feeds me the rest of my pancake.

"Yea of course I'll, I will never allow you to go alone, that Samantha also freaks me out". He is the only one who knows what kind of women Samantha really is. When she sees my mom or when I was there with Veronica, she acted like she loved me.

I hear the radio in the kitchen, and lean against my boyfriend. Together we hum along with the popular maneskin sound, which is on the radio like every single day.

"Però lei sa la veritàNon è per tutti andare avantiCon il cuore che è diviso in due metàÈ freddo giàÈ una bambina però senteCome un peso e prima o poi si spezzeràLa gente dirà: "Non vale niente"Non riesce neanche a uscire da una misera portaMa un giorno, una volta lei ci riusciràE ho detto a Coraline che può crescerePrendere le sue cose e poi partireMa sente un mostro che la tiene in gabbiaChe le ricopre la strada di mineE ho detto a Coraline che può crescerePrendere le sue cose e poi partireMa Coraline non vuole mangiare noSì Coraline vorrebbe sparire" 

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family sucks sometimes.