Brans pov
Mom stirs next to me as she pulls the quilt further over her, as she speaks soft Spanish in her sleep. Her and father had an argument and so like always she has come to sleep in my bed - it's better to stay out of a father's way when he's angry.
No matter how hard I try I can't sleep, all I can think about is Jackson. Whenever I think about him, which is often, my head becomes clouded with many different thoughts and feelings. He means so much to me and is one of my closest friends and yet the way I feel about him is different to the way I feel about Dannie. Jackson, god why does he make me feel like this
I can't stand to be away from him, it makes me feel physically sick but when I'm with him my whole world seems to light up, he somehow removes all the bad things in my life by distracting me, he can make me feel good even by just sitting quietly next to me. That's why no matter how mad he is at me, I still sat next to him at lunch and stood with him every chance I could even if he dirty looked me every time.
I don't know what this is. I don't know why I feel this strange.
"What are you brooding about?" Mom asks, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes allowing my mind to become unclouded with the thoughts of jackson.
"Nothing '' I shrug, turning to look at her watching as she switches my lamp on, because of the size of my room the lamp only illuminates a small part but it's enough for us to see each other.
"Girl troubles?" She asks sitting up to my level and stroking my head messing up my bed head even more
"No, not that" I laugh trying to stop myself from saying boy troubles. But that's different, I don't like Jackson like I like girls. Jackson's just a really special friend.
Curiously she asks "Did you make up with that boy?" Like she had somehow read my mind
I shrug in response "he agreed to talk to me, but he said he will only forgive me if I work for it"
"Good" she smiles "a friendship that good you need to work for"
"I will work for it, I can't imagine not being friends with him. That's all I want" I admit.
"This boy seems really special" she says giving me a small smile
"He is, he's so nice and understanding and sweet, he always knows how to help, At school he's one of the only people who can calm me down when i panic " i rant, explaining all the things I love about jackson "he's an amazing friend"
"That's great baby" she yawns "you deserve to have good friends"
"I can't lose him mom, he's so special" i say with a sigh closing my eyes as she strokes my hair
"Oh mi amore, I'm sure all he wants is for you to show that you care that you are willing to do anything to be friends with him like he would with you, nobody likes being the only one putting effort and love into something" she says with a solemn smile, she knows that too well
"And I'm ready to try anything, I just hope he gives me a chance and forgives me for being a total asshole"
"Im sure he will, just tell him how you really feel and the rest will come" she says leaning back over to turn the lamp off plummeting the room into darkness
"You should get some rest darling, try not to let it keep you up" she says and I feel a kiss on my forehead before the sound of her rolling over.
Tell him how I really feel. But I don't know how I feel. I don't know what this is
How am I meant to learn what a feeling means? How will I ever know what Jackson means to me?
But what if he's not a friend
YOU ARE READING
Deepest Desires
RomansaA group of school kids, All from different lives and backgrounds, are brought together by trauma and events were they build bonds they never thought possible. Bonds of unrequited love, newfound friendship and romance emerge as they are forced to fac...
