5. By the pool

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Conner's pov

***WARNING-SELF HARM***

After talking with Hannah and Gabbie for a while I finally get tired and walk up to one of the many bed rooms. Both the girls have already picked out a bedroom but it doesn't really matter to me. 

I walk to the very last one and open up the door. Its simplistic yet very pretty. 

I put my bags down on the bed and grab a pair of shirts and one of my brothers hoodies that I stole a while ago when I was cold

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I put my bags down on the bed and grab a pair of shirts and one of my brothers hoodies that I stole a while ago when I was cold. By the size of it, I am guessing its Dawson's. 

I curl up in the bed and pull the blankets up to my neck. I grab my phone from the night stand and dial Finns number. 

It only take a couple of rings before he answers. 'Hey Conner' He sounds happy to hear from me.

My eyes immediately becoming glazed over with tears from hearing his voice. As much as me and him tease each other I still really miss him. Especially with everything that's gone on in the last 3 days.  

'Hey' I try to sound happy but he sees right through it 'whats wrong shortie, you can talk to me'.

'I just really miss you' I bite my bottom lip, trying not to cry. I don't dare tell him everything that's gone on. Not yet. 

He lets out a sigh 'You'll be home soon' he reminds me, trying to cheer me up. I don't say anything and instead just shut my eyes and bite my lips harder, trying to contain my cries. 

I hear some one yell over the phone from the distance, it sounds like Jacob. 'I hope you don't mind but Jacob wants to go play football in the back yard' Finn utters. 

'Go spend time with him, tell him and Dawson I say hi for me" I reply. 'Love you sis'.

'Love you Finn' I fake a smile, even though he can't see it. 

He hangs up and I put my phone back on the night stand. I turn and lay on my back, letting all my tears come out. 

I don't even try biting my lip. I just let it out, quiet enough no one will hear me. 

After my tears finally start to calm down, enough for me to stand up. I walk over to my bag and pull out a pocket knife form the side pocket. 

One thing about being from the country, you always have a knife on you. I flip it open and slide my back along the wall until I'm sitting on the ground. 

I pull up my shorts and slowly run the blade along my thigh in short cuts. I never thought I would be the type to self harm but my ex convinced me I am worth nothing. He said that cutting myself was the pain I deserved and I believe him. I deserve it. I don't know what I did but I just do, like he said. 

Blood pours onto the floor and I just sit there. I finally put the blade away and back into my bag. I clean up the blood on the floor and on my leg. 

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