Love Is...

-16-

Song: "I Am Not Nothing" by Beth Crowley

**

At first, Heather didn't think she was alive. Then she spent an hour of her night vomiting. Her head throbbed viciously, throwing off her vision and balance. She would've tried to escape, but Chandler followed her everywhere she went. He explained that he used chloroform to calm her down, and throwing up was a side effect. She would've completely lost it if her head wasn't so foggy.

When it was time for her to go to bed, Chandler handcuffed her right wrist to the bed with his dad's old cop cuffs that he stole from him. He then hid the key somewhere else in the house so she wouldn't find it. "This is just temporary, my love. Once you prove to me that you won't try to escape or hurt yourself, I'll let you be free during the night." He kissed her lips. She didn't kiss back. She just stared ahead, letting a single tear fall from her eye. Chandler played with the ends of her hair. "You're going to school tomorrow, ok? I can't let you be home alone. It's too dangerous."  She nodded emotionlessly.

He laid down next to her and kissed her shoulder. "You're so lovely. You have no idea how much you mean to me. You're my precious jewel. I have to protect you like one. It's already hard enough when you're out of my sight for a few hours at school."

Out of his sight, she thought. That's when I can escape. The only problem was, she was still too scared and ashamed to tell anyone. She wished she could blink and be back at her parents' house. For once, she wanted to be with her parents. She realized she made a mistake when she thought moving in with Chandler was better than living at home. Her parents may have been mean to her and ignored her, but at least they've never done anything as horrific as this.

She had no idea where the guy she fell in love with was, but she knew he was long gone. A monster inhabited his body—or the monster was always there, waiting to come out.

Chandler pulled out her phone and started scrolling through it. "I love this picture of you." He showed her a picture of her and Courtney eating strawberry ice cream a few months back. "Oh, by the way, Courtney texted you while you were asleep. I pretended I was you and told her I was studying." Heather's face fell. "You know," he started again. "I wish I could take you out of school and keep you here in restraints, but all your friends would know where you were. And that's why I'm taking you to Florida with me in the next few years. No one will know where we live then." He put her phone down and cuddled up next to her. "Goodnight, my love."

I've got to get out of here! Heather showed no emotion on the outside, but her heart raced with fear. School is the only chance I have. Who knows how long it will take for me to be able to tell someone. She squeezed her eyes shut. Think, Heather. Think! That's it. Maybe I don't have to tell anyone anything. I know what sets Chandler off the most. All I need to do is use that against him. I just have to hope that he doesn't keep it together since we'll be in a public setting. Heather hardly got any sleep that night, but she was determined to get herself out of this nightmare.

**

The following day, Chandler drove himself and Heather to college. Heather laid her right arm on her lap. There was a red ring around her wrist from where he cuffed her, and the skin around it was tender. She heard Chandler talk about how much he'd miss her that day, but she didn't listen to his words. Thoughts about her plan spun around in her head. What if this doesn't work? What if this makes him want to rape me again? She swallowed hard. I don't know if I can do this. But I have to. It's either that, or I have to tell someone what he's doing to me. Living like this isn't an option.

Chandler pulled up to the University parking lot and told Heather to wait in her seat so he could open it for her. He never does this when nobody's watching, she thought bitterly. He opened the door for her. She counted the seconds it took her to get out. Every moment from this point on was crucial.