BLOOD AND HEART

31 | EMBARRASSED

N   Y   X

.   .   .
“I'm embarrassed (why?)
I'm embarrassing (what?)
I'm an embarrassment (why?)
And it's all adding up”
.   .   .

Letting my breath out, I knocked on Zayn's door, hoping that he would open the door or maybe say something from behind his door but none of them happened. It was nine o'clock at night, I was hungry and curious about Zayn. When he didn't reply, I called out his name “Zayn?” but once again there was no response from his side. “Enough with the attitude already. Open the damn door, you know I was supposed to be angry at you. Come out I'm hungry” I shouted, banging his door. 

With a huff, I leaned against his door and tried to call him out again, hoping he would open the door "Zayn open the bloody door," With the passage of time, I began to lose hope and vitality, and the door flung open unexpectedly with a jerk, and I landed awkwardly and painfully on my back on the floor. I whimpered in pain, I didn't expect he would open the door. Falling in front of him was the last thing I wanted to happen.

“Hi,” I said, awkwardly, lying on the ground. His tall muscled body was towering over me, I was having a really great view of his lower body. He swiftly assisted me in standing up when he noticed me lying on his floor. Awkwardly I stood up with his help, he led me to the sofa like a gentleman he was, note the sarcasm. We sat there awkwardly staring at the shiny black marble floor. 

Sometimes understanding silence was better than any bullshit but I didn't think the concept of understanding silence was known to us. I glanced at him after three days. I was looking at him properly. He looked like a complete mess, even though it's only been a few hours. His eyes appeared tired as if he hadn't slept in days, his hair was messy, there was no shine on his face. I looked around and noticed that his bed was unmade, and there were crushed pieces of paper on the floor. Unorganized.  And something was deliberately kept hidden behind the curtains, that something had a very strange shape. 

He cleared his throat, gaining my attention and said “I didn't mean to point my gun at you; you were being too noisy for me to ignore. But remember that I would never intentionally harm you.” His voice was heavy with guilt and remorse, and it was suffocating me. He sounded to be ashamed of what he had done and to be guilty of it. 

"A simple apology would have sufficed, but wait, is the word sorry even in your valuable dictionary?" I poked fun at it, raising my eyebrow as a small attempt to ease the seriousness. “Perhaps, I just have to imagine you apologizing to me” I added, sighing dramatically making him look at me with amusement. 

"Well, an apology seems a bit boring," Zayn said, a smirk plastered on his face. “You can imagine me giving you something that you have been desiring for a long time.” 

My eyebrows knitted in confusion “What do you mean?” I asked. 

“Well, I little birdy told me you had a dream,” he said and shifted closer “or shall I say a sex dream?” he whispered causing my breath to hitch. I looked at him without blinking, thunderstruck. The only question I had in my head was 'who told him?' I was sure Levi wouldn't utter a single word to him or to anyone then who the bloody hell told him about my bloody dream?

“I'm presuming that cat got your tongue,” he whispered with his never-ending, glorious smirk, while his fingertips brushed against my cheeks. I found myself gawking at him like a fool. The concept of personal space was deliberately chosen to forget. My heart was beating against my rib cage as if it's going to come up at any second. 

Out of the blue, Zayn started chuckling, his chuckling was converted into laughter. Real laughter. Not fake nor his sinister not demonic laugh but something I was seeing for the first time. Forgetting about my dumb reaction, I kept looking at him. He was laughing uncontrollably however his laugh was beautiful. It suited him. As I came to my senses a legitimate question appeared in my head that's 'Why on earth was he laughing?' I waited for him to stop laughing but he didn't. And unfortunately, out of the blue, my stomach happened to let out an embarrassing growling sound, giving him an opportunity to laugh more. That's exactly what I was wanting to happen, my fate was a bitch.