BLOOD AND HEART

42 | CHAOTICLY COOL

Z      A      Y      N

“How could anybody go and misuse such a delicate thing
Now she's got these walls up
I'll punch them until all my knuckles bleed”

I was unfamiliar with the concept of emotional pain until she made me realise that it was the worst kind of agony. It torments your body, mind, and soul to the point it collapses, leaving you vulnerable. My father instilled in me the desire to be strong. He trained me to be invulnerable. His training, however, was ineffective. I loathed myself for putting her through so much suffering. It was sickening to watch her cry. I wanted to be the one to console her and hold her as she cried, but I failed miserably at both. She refused to even look me in the eyes. I was disgusted by myself.

When she gave me a chance, I saw an opportunity to support her, heal her emotional pain and regain her trust. However, since I didn't have enough time to prepare a proper plan, I had no idea how I was going to make things right between us. But that wasn't the only issue; we were also receiving threats from gangsters, and the most pressing issue was Nyx's wound. Her wound was not healing and was becoming more acute as a result of her frequent yelling and anger. Nyx was not allowed to leave her bed and the doctor needed to raise her medication dosage. Earlier, Ace took the responsibility to take care of Nyx but due to the continuous threats, I had to appoint Ace and Hunter to take care of the gangsters.

The threats were anonymous, and they indicated a potential threat to our mafia. Octavio attempted to hack the sender's ID, but their security protection was solid. He tried again and again, but there was no favourable outcome. Octavio was the best tracker and hacker; he was well-versed in all technologies. We were alerted when Octavio was unable to locate the sender. Their tight security proved that they were not some local gangsters. They were far from local gangsters. They posed a major threat to the mafia. I sent my two assassins at first, but they were slaughtered by those fuckers, so I had to take a chance and send my best two assassins, Ace and Hunter. 

“Are you in love?” Nyx asked, capturing my attention. I went completely motionless. My subconscious told me she wasn't supposed to know. The obvious question was, ‘How did she know?’ I wasn't ready to respond because I didn't want to rush things. 

“With the wall?” She added, making me frown. Nonetheless, I was relieved that she was unaware of my feelings. For the time being, she didn't need to know anything. 

“What?” I said, looking at her in disgust. 

“You keep staring at the wall as if that’s the most beautiful thing you have ever seen,” she said. 

“If that’s the case, then you should see me when I look at you” With a smirk on my face, I said. A slight blush crept into her face as her cheeks flushed. 

“Whatever,” she said, adverting her gazes. 

Ever Since Ace made me realise my feelings for Nyx, I've been paying more attention to her actions, her mood swings, and when she gets happy. Nyx was out of the ordinary. Her emotional fluctuations were like if she were on a rollercoaster. Her rage was unbearable. When she is happy, though, everything returns to normal. She is always hungry, and she can't decide what to eat, but at the end of the day she ends up eating pasta. She is considerate of other people's perspectives. She is concerned about everyone. 

“How are you feeling?” I asked. 

“Stop asking the same question over and over again,” she said and huffed.  

“A man can only check-in,” I said with a shrug. I couldn't help but check in every time. I kept checking in because the last thing I wanted was an unexpected and unwanted pain in her wound. Gunshots wounds come with bad consequences.