Cold Feet

37, The Things Best Not Said

Coraline

My whole body aches.

Mostly from just being roughed up.

Both boys just stare at me in shock of what I've just said.

Everytime Kai thought I was lying to him, he'd bring up things about Damiano and the others he threatened me with.

The only thing he said that I payed attention to was about this girl.

"Ask him about Carla. She was an innocent girl"

"How do you know her name?"

I refuse to turn my eyes from Damiano.

"He told me to ask what happened to her"

Thomas shifts in his seat and the colour runs from both their faces.

"Coraline, what else did he tell you?" Thomas's voice turns dark and serious.

I'm guessing by their reaction that what I've been told is true.

"That Thomas was a getaway driver for a bank robbery when he was 15. Victoria was in overnight custody after an assault in 2017, but later was proved as self defence. And he knows about Damiano's od's"

They both stare in disbelief at the fact that I know this.

I don't care about what any of them have done in the past, but for Kai to not even say what Damiano done is giving me bad vibes.

I'm glad nothing about Ethan was said. Not that I'd care, but he's too much of a shy and nice guy to do anything of such nature.

"You were blackmailed into talking to him" Damiano mumbles, sitting back in his chair. "What the fuck did you even do to piss him off?"

It's not the way he said it, but his words make it seem that all this is my fault.

What I done was like 4 or 5 years ago, and it wasn't even bad.

Well, I guess it was, but I barley done half the stuff he accused me of. That was my 'friends'. And despite me continuously telling them to leave him alone, they didn't.

I have so many messages to prove it wasn't me, but he refuses to look at them.

"In 2017 we met from a class we had together. I ended up switching out of that class within a month and I didn't see Kai as much after that. About a month later I get a request on Instagram from his account. He only had like 20 something followers. I saw a post of a sunset with a rainbow in it and the caption was 'Boys play with boys the way girls do'. I remember seeing a coming out post way back with the same caption, so I just assumed that's what that was about. At school the next day, I showed my friend Hayley the post and she ended up texting to our group chat. Which was around 20 people. We were kind of popular, so of course word spread that Kai was gay. Somehow he gathered it was me and confronted me in the hallway. Heaps of people were around and he said nasty things, so a lot of people sent him threats, some even mentioning death. I tried to shut it all down from the second the text was sent to that group and I tried texting Kai to explain."

"A month later things kind of died down. One day I was just walking through the shortcut home and he grabbed me from behind and dragged me to his car. I was locked in his shed for 2 days tied to a chain with no food or water and no light. Every few hours he'd chuck a bucket of ice water at me and would say things to get in my head. I lost control of my vision, my ability to freely move, my throat was too sore to talk, I couldn't even think anything in those days. When he finally let me go, he pushed me out of his front gate and I was left to walk the half hour home in the cold. It didn't stop until he made me move schools. One of the boys I'd gotten with at that school had taken photos and somehow Kai got them. If I didn't move, he would leak them. So I moved to a school an hour away in Berlin. It stopped until now"

I was too numb to even cry by all of this. I told the same story to the cops that year and the cop earlier.

He's never going to leave me alone until he's behind bars.

Both boys sit with their mouths hung open by what I've said.

"He's mad because you accidentally outed him? That's a cruel thing to do, but not cruel enough to do all this" Thomas stares blankly.

"It wasn't even Coraline who done it, it was the other people. Mainly that other girl" Damiano adds. "I think I'm going to be sick"

I watch as Damiano stands up and walks out the door holding a hand over his mouth.

I don't blame him, it makes me sick too.

"So who's Carla?" I ask Thomas.

It appears that he knows from his reaction from the name earlier.

He sighs, leaning his elbows on the bed. "She's his cousin. He accidentally killed her in a drunk driving accident on her 18th birthday"

I gasp and cover my mouth.

Is this why he doesn't drive?

I regret ever asking now.

"Oh my god"

"She would stay with Damiano's family a lot since her mother passed years before. Her dad was never there, so when she was 15 she had no choice but to move in with her 17 year old brother at the time. He was a dick though, would always bring up their mother in arguments or just to get to her. He started physically hurting her not long after. Most nights I'd walk to meet her and sneak her into my house. I was only 13. That night of her party, it was at Damiano's. But he was supposed to take her across town back home. He'd only just gotten his license. On the drive, Damiano got really drowsy and collided with a truck. He tried to swerve, but the passenger side was the impacted side. She passed a few hours later"

Holy fuck.

Thomas was close to her too.

This is just awful.

I feel sick to my stomach.

This is why Damiano was so upset.

"Were you two.." I whisper.

He looks up and nods.

Oh my god.

"I turned 14 a few months before her 17th. That's when it started. The same time the following year she called it off because she was turning 18. It didn't end badly, and I was only 15 so I saw the issue. We stayed friends, still doing the same things. I was at that party. We messed around just before she had to leave. If I had of known Damiano was as drunk as he was, I would have driven her. Even if it was illegal. I've only been with two girls since"

This whole story is just breaking my heart.

I don't want Damiano to know that I know all this now.

"Thomas, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked- he threatened to tell about Damiano's disorders, so I didn't know-"

Thomas grabs my hand and squeezes it. "Coraline, none of this is your fault, that guys just an asshole for all of this. Don't worry, I won't tell him that you know. If he asks, she was just a cousin who moved away" he calmly talks with a smile.

Everything within the last 24 hours just feels like a fever dream.

I wish it were so neither of us were put in these situations.

He should have just knocked me out so I didn't remember any of it.

A nurse walks in the room with a smile and walks over towards me. "We can un strap your nose if it's back in place now, then you can head home"

Thankfully my nose was only dislocated, not broken.

"I'll call Ethan to come get us"

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