Her Brother's Best Friend

Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

ABIR'S POV

I lay awake on the mattress staring at the ceiling, waiting for my alarm to go off. I turned around and looked at the clock but couldn't clearly decipher the numbers that the arms were pointing at. I squinted my eyes as much as I could, before dark spots clouded my vision. Clearing my eyes, I squinted again only to realize that it was barely 2.25 AM.

It's been more than 1 hour since Mishtipie and I retired back to sleep. Yet, all that I have been doing is tossing and turning. Beside me, Kunal is sleeping like a log, while neither am I able to sleep, nor do I want to.

Ever since that fateful day, I have started getting nightmares once again, which are in full force now. They are more descriptive, more scary and more realistic. Every night, something different happens, but the outcome of my dreams remains the same. Once, I was the person who drove at full speed and rammed the car into Mishti. Another time, it was as if I pushed her in front of the speeding car while my father stood beside me and laughed at the monster that I have become.

Two nights ago, I was woken awake by yet another nightmare. I woke up screaming and thrashing around while Kunal hugged me and calmed me down before putting me back to sleep. He didn't ask me about it and I was grateful. I was also glad that I slept very lightly back at the hospital because I know that if I had gotten into deep sleep, Mishti would have woken up to my screaming due to the nightmares. And if she found out, I would be in deep trouble.

I tuned back around and closed my eyes shut, forcing myself to think about what happened before that. Until the accident happened, that day felt like heaven to me. Only bliss everywhere. I felt happy, peaceful and for the first time in my life, I felt worthy. I felt worthy of joy, I felt worthy of love and most important of all, I felt worthy of her. She made me feel things I never knew I was capable of feeling. Deep down, I also know that she feels the same way I feel. But, instead of making me happy, it makes me afraid of the future.

Ever since I was a kid, I have always known that I was a bad omen. And having witnessed Mishti go through an accident mere minutes after realizing my love for her, only proves it more strongly. I sigh and roll around, pushing all the negative thoughts out of my head.

Whatever may happen, I was sure of one thing. I was too deep into this that there is no coming back. While my brain is continuously telling me to distance myself from her to keep her safe, my heart is stubborn. My heart wants to try one more time at my chance of a happy ending, but my brain is not allowing me to do so. Every morning I wake up and decide to follow my brain's instructions. But whenever I see her, every sane thought in my head just flies out of the window.

I am brought out of my reverie as the lights are suddenly switched on. I look up to see Rajshree Ma awake and ready, to catch her flight back to Mumbai. She smiled and wished me a good morning before walking into the kitchen to make some coffee for her and Vishambher pa.

I now looked at the clock to see that it was already 3.15, and I had whiled away one more night in my own thoughts. Beside me, Kunal groaned and turned to sleep on his stomach, to block the light from falling on his face. I chuckled before shaking him to wake him up to which he swatted my hand away and slept back again. I shook my head and got up, walking straight into the bathroom to take a bath and do my morning routine.

After I got ready, I knocked on Mishti and Kuhu's door. When I got no response, I opened the door gently to see both the girls sleeping peacefully. While Kuhu slept on her stomach, she had her hand across Mishti's waist, hugging her, while Mishti had swung her good leg on Kuhu. I chuckled before calling out their names, only to get no response. After a few more tries, Kuhu clicked her tongue and popped open one eye and frowned at me. In reply, I grinned at her.