if i were : karlnap

36. 855.5

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10|25|20

He added another color for Halloween time, is all that Sapnap's brain decides to land on. His brain can't even comprehend his metaphors. What was it again? What were the petals for? What's the rainbow for? Is this the storm hitting?

"T-Thanks, I didn't even have to ask this time" the voice sounds the same as before, soft and scratchy. Sapnap wants to scoff in his face, and maybe punch him in the gut emotionally. How can he sit there and act like they're okay?

Two years of no communication and what does he do? Walk right up to him the next time he sees him. Karl Jacobs has the fucking nerve. He blocks Sapnap, wastes two years, then walks right up to him in a supermarket. Just like when they first met. The fucking nerve, Sapnap wants to spit at him.

Sapnap hears a shaky inhale. His eyes shift up and soften. He's hurting too, isn't he? God, they have a long talk awaiting them. His eyes lock onto blue-grey eyes, then take in every freckle and blemish he hasn't seen in two years. Sapnap has so much to say, but nothing to say at all. He can't do this today.

Sapnap turns around to grab himself a drink now, though the first was originally for himself. He cracks it open and takes a big gulp.
"Nick" Karl whispers. Sapnap can't accept it. It's been two years, so much has changed. He's living with Dream now. Dream-

"Am I missing something here?" Dream questions after watching the exchange take place. Karl's ocean eyes flit up to stare Dream in the eyes. Dream nods his head as a greeting, then eyes Sapnap suspiciously.
"You know Karl from MrBeast?" he questions. Sapnap tears his eyes away from Karl.
"I'll explain in the car" he answers immediately. He tugs on Dream's hoodie to get him to turn away.

"Why didn't you tell me? Even when I had the videos on with him- Sapnap, what is going on?" Dream rambles, pure confusion written on his face. Sapnap pushes him softly, "I'll explain in the car, I promise. Please, be quiet." Harsh lines etch into Dream's features as he frowns deeply. He fully turns around and starts unloading their shopping cart onto the conveyor belt.

Sapnap turns back to Karl and takes him in from the farther angle. His hair slightly curls at the end and it's swept to one side, his left side. His hair is also brown now, which is why he didn't recognize him earlier until he smiled. His features looks slightly more defined, too.
"Karl" Sapnap sighs, looking him back in the eyes, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here for work, but I'm here because I needed to see you. I needed to talk to you, I need to talk to you" Karl explains.

Sapnap exhales deeply, "It's been two years, Karl." Sapnap's voice cracks. He checks around to make sure no one is looking at them.
"I-I know, I realized- I had unblocked you a few months after, and I didn't realize your phone number was changed until a couple of months ago" Karl rambles, eyes darting across Sapnap's features. He tries to read what he's thinking through his expression.
"Why didn't you try earli- We can't do this here. How long are you staying in Florida?" Sapnap questions, crossing his arms against his chest as a defense mechanism. Karl frowns deeply, part of him filled with disappointment, "We leave early tomorrow morning. Nine hour road trip."

Sapnap groans quietly. He takes a moment to think it over, then decides on a solution.
"Okay, I'll give you my new number and you give me yours. I may call you, but I'm not talking about this on the phone" Sapnap demands. Karl nods, pulling out his phone, "Okay." Sapnap gives him his phone and they exchange numbers. Silence falls between them. Karl motions to Dream, "Is he-"
"Dream, my best friend" Sapnap reassures. He doesn't know why he does it.

"It's good to see you" Karl whispers his confession like it's a sin. Sapnap sucks in another breath, "I-" He sighs softly, "You too. It's, uh, hard. We have a lot of things left unsaid, I'm sorry. I'm not as... stable as you. I can't talk about this right now, right here. I l-" Karl shakes his head, "I'm not as 'stable' as I seem! I've gotten used to keeping it together for the cameras." Sapnap narrows his eyes, "If we talk, I don't want that to happen. I want- need to know how you actually feel. It's been way too long."

Karl nods, "It has been too long. And it won't, I promise. Are we... going to talk?" Sapnap scratches the nape of his neck, "I don't know."
"Nick" Karl pleads softly. Sapnap squeezes his eyes shut, "I don't know, Karl. It's been two years. I had basically given up on communicating, and here you are two years later wanting to talk."
"Have you not wanted to talk with me?" Karl glares, but a tear rolls down his cheek.
"Of course I have- See, this is why it needs to be private. Go back to your crew, Karl. I've got to get home" Sapnap answers. Karl winces, "Y'know, I should be the angry one, not you. I was le-"

Karl shakes his head defeatedly.
"I hope to talk to you soon. G'bye, Sap" Karl says, pain etched into his features. He takes a few steps back, blue eyes still locked onto Sapnap's green one's.  Sapnap bites his lip and waves, "Goodbye, Karl."

Written: 12/7/21 Words: 942
almsot saved to finish this tmrw bc is as so tired and i also wasn't happy with it but i hope it fits the expectations and seems logical

-moon ⎊