if i were : karlnap

30. 659

ψ

•|i|• Ø i+! ].[

Fate is real. It's either meant to be, or not meant to be. It's like picking the petals off a flower.

Sapnap picks, it's meant to be.
He picks again, it's not meant to be.
He keeps picking, always gives up when he accidentally picks two or three at a time.

4|12|20

Sapnap sighs deeply as he pulls into the driveway. It's been months since he's been here, and every time, he feels like he's put on a rollercoaster. He knocks on the door at around 3pm, he planned his drive almost perfectly.

His father opens the door and his eyes immediately soften.
"You made it!" he celebrates, pulling Sapnap into his arms. Sapnap laughs gently, his body warming up at the sight of his dad. He always grounds Sapnap when things get rough. He was a big part of his healing from Karl; he didn't hesitate in letting him in when he showed up at his door at 3AM after just taking a impulse flight from Oregon to Texas. He comforted him and talked him through his fears. He helped him realize so much, but it was far too late.

His eyes lock with his step-mom's. They share a fond smile. She doesn't expect it, but he walks up and wraps his arms around her. She's grown extremely close to Sapnap, which shocked his dad. He didn't think he'd process properly and heal, and neither did Sapnap. However, they're both glad he did.

It felt way too soon for Sapnap, and he didn't want to seem selfish for feeling like he was thrown into a new family so quickly. He met them in November last year for Thanksgiving, and then they were there for Christmas. He doesn't understand how his dad fell in love so quickly and how he got remarried so fast.

It worried Sapnap and though he had also fallen in love quickly (with Karl), he voiced his concerns to his dad. Of course, there was no explanation his dad could give. Instead, every time Sapnap commented on their relationship, his dad just kept repeating "Nick, love works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, it's just meant to be."

That had pissed Sapnap off. All because he was right. Of course, he was fucking right! He could've spared Sapnap the truth, though. When he told him the truth, it had instantly clicked. Sapnap did not have any ounce of doubt in his dad because Sapnap had seen it first-hand, the fate of love. He saw it with them, and he saw it with Karl. His dad could've blatantly given the whole truth, but he served him half. Thus, Sapnap finished it for him: Sometimes, it's just meant to be, and other times, it's not.

Now, Sapnap's glad his dad told him that. It allowed him to heal. Their relationship got better, and he was so thankful for her and she has given him. Her and his dad helped Sapnap get better at opening up.

Though the situation was terrible, it turned out okay. Sapnap guesses he was right all along when he told Karl everything was okay.

His younger sisters and step-brother hug him next. They cheer and squeeze him, and Sapnap chuckles at his sisters and their small arms' surprise strength.
"Hey, did ya miss me?" Sapnap bends down to their height. The smallest sister wraps her arms around Sapnap's neck.
"Mhm! How's YouTube going? Are you big yet?" she rambles, her voice going a mile a minute. Sapnap laughs wholeheartedly, "Things are going extremely well! I'm not as huge as Dream, but I'm doing good, sweet pea." She beams up at him until their step-mom interrupts.

"How's Dream, honey? Any updates?" she questions, interested in Sapnap's life away from his hometown. Sapnap grins and nods his head, "Yeah, George's visa got approved. He's moving to Florida with us next month."
"That's wonderful, son. I'm so proud of you guys" he admits. His step-mom nods eagerly, "Your dad is right. You're doing amazing." Sapnap smiles sheepishly, "Thank you, guys. I love you two so much." He pulls them into a group hug.

He exhales gently as they separate.
"Who's ready to eat? She made some amazing food, we haven't tried it yet" his dad notes. Sapnap's jaw drops slightly, "Oh, I'm excited!"
"Kids, let's eat" she calls. They come running and walking in.

They all sit down to eat.
"Happy Easter, everyone. I'm glad I came home to be with you all. Life's hectic at the moment, but I'm glad I could make time to see you guys" Sapnap confesses. His family smiles warmly.
"Happy Easter. We're glad too" his dad assures.

It was meant to be.

He eventually comes back to picking the petals of a new flower. A fresh start, he had told himself.

He admits, he hasn't stopped picking for Karl. Petal, it's meant to be. Petal, it's not meant to be. Petal after petal. He doesn't know when it will stop. How will he know? Karl always finds a way back to him either with being on YouTube or with the skateboard. He's always appears in Sapnap's life, yet he isn't really there.

What does it mean?

Were they meant to be a part of each other to where they completed the other?

Or were they meant to be this way? Always a fond memory wrapped in warm hugs and soft kisses, ice cream in the cold, and whispers of promises of firsts sacred to the two of them; hurting from loss and unsaid words, never to be complete?

Written: 12/2-3/21 Words: 936
holy shit the beginning and end randomly came to me and it makes me want to SOB

-moon ⎊