if i were : karlnap

25. 574

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enjoy :] \/ that sounds so ominous

Rainbows do not mean the storms are gone. They always come back eventually.  It hurts, but then the rainbow comes back. It's okay, it's happy. It's a cycle.

1|17|20

Sapnap feels almost refreshed today. He doesn't feel a weight on his shoulders. He doesn't feel like he's going to see or hear fake versions of Karl. He honestly believes he is no longer haunted by him. He's actually happy. He's going to get over Karl.

Sapnap yawns as he stretches his arms into the air and leans back. His back pops and he exhales contently. He feels changed, but in a good way. Although he does wish he could hate Karl and be mad at him for not communicating, he's fine with being happy and missing him only slightly. The thought of him is nice, but it does slightly hurt. That's why Sapnap needs to move on. Maybe eventually he'll look back at Karl and be happy of their time together in college, instead of the pain he brought after. Sapnap blames himself too, though.

It hurts that he lost the man he loved the most, but he's got Dream and George. He's happy, he's supported, he's growing; he's going to be okay. He doesn't need to dwell on the past. Therefore, he's going to stick to his plan to move on. If he imagines a fake scenario with Karl, he'll brush it off; close his eyes and shake his head until it's gone. He's strong, he can do this; he's going to get over Karl.

Sapnap stands from his bed and throws on a random hoodie. He checks the time, though he knows it's some time in the afternoon. His and Dream's sleep schedules are awful. It doesn't help that they barely have real jobs. Dream's mom helps them with a lot of things that involve money, she really believes in their careers as YouTubers and streamers. She doesn't mind helping and that they're grateful for.

Sapnap notices Dream's door is open, so he must be already up. They wake up around the same time anyways, and they both were up celebrating for a while. George's sleep schedule is probably destroyed because of them; he stayed up with them to celebrate too, and he's five hours ahead of them. It was 5 in the morning in London when it hit 12AM in Florida. He already sleeps rough as is, who knows how he'll be for the next few days.

Sapnap jogs down the steps briskly. He sees Dream on the couch in the living room, Patches snuggled into his lap.
"Goodmorning, whatcha watching?" Sapnap asks cheerfully. He stops to stare at the TV, but he doesn't recognize any of the people on it.
"Some 60k hide and seek thing. This guy does these types of videos a lot; always gives away money. Apparently he's famous" Dream explains.

"Explains how he can toss away his money. I hope he gives it to charity too. Did you eat breakfast?" Sapnap responds. Dream tilts his head to look at Sapnap, "Yeah, I saved you some pancakes, eggs, and bacon. There's sausage too. Make you a plate and join me" Dream suggests. Sapnap hums in delight and walks to the kitchen. He grabs a plate and placed a pancake onto it.

"We going this way, baby" Sapnap hears Karl's voice. Sapnap furrows his eyebrows. He's not dreaming or imagining something from the past. Why is he hearing Karl? He hears wind from the video Dream's watching in the living room; it tells him he's in the present and not imagining anything.

"Okay, I'm at home base" he hears Karl speak. His whole face scrunches up in confusion. He steps to the archway.
"Dre-" his words fade as his eyes lock onto the TV. More so, his eyes lock onto Karl's blue one's. Sapnap's mouth falls agape and he steps foreword involuntarily to where he's right behind the couch.

Oh.

Oh.

There's Karl. His hair is blond now, blond and still short. And he's speaking; to the camera, not to Sapnap. Sapnap didn't realize how much he missed his voice. He looks so good. That brings joy to Sapnap, but pain still builds in his heart. There he is; not with Sapnap.

Sapnap moves to sit down beside Dream on the couch. Dream furrows his eyebrows at him.
"Where's your food?" Dream questions. Sapnap opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. His eyes stay on Karl as the video continues. He listens to the lilt in his voice and stares at every detail of his face.
"Sap?" Dream calls. Sapnap scoffs lightly. He can't believe it.

"Dream, what's the name of this channel?" Sapnap asks. Dream checks the video with the remote, "MrBeast." Sapnap nods and when Karl's no longer on the TV, he gets up to finish making his plate. He stands in the archway and stares at the TV.
"Come join" Dream suggests.

Sapnap gives in.

He's missed Karl so much, it feels like he got part of him back. He can see him and he can hear him; that means everything to Sapnap. He can't let go.

Written: 11/29/21 Words: 865
hAhA i need to plan more now lols that was all i had written in my planned chapters smh

-moon ⎊