Hayley's POV
"Okay everybody lunch time." I announced once the school's bell rang—the kids cheered before rushing out of the classroom, followed by the teacher in charge of looking out for them during lunch.
I felt a pull on my pants and looked down to find Matty with a paper in hand. "I made this for you," he showed me a drawing of what looked like to be me, him a dog and... Morgan in it.
Does he want me to cry during work?
"Thank you Matty, you are very sweet." I took the drawing out of his hand, giving him the first honest smile I've had given in a while. "Now go and catch up with your classmates." I ruffled his hair before he ran out of the classroom.
With a sigh I went back to sit at my desk—taking another glance of the drawing, making my heart clench. I put the paper inside my cabinet—not being able to keep looking at it.
It's been a little more than a month since we broke up— since I broke up with Morgan. Doing so almost emotionally destroyed, or maybe it did.
I have to admit that saying it in that moment was more of an act out of impulse, to blurt it out right in that moment, that's it. I was thinking of it before saying it, that was true—I've been thinking about it ever since she came running all the way to Jerome from Chicago because of what had happened to my mom.
Like I can't make her fly all the way here everytime I have a crisis, that's not fair for her—especially since I know she will do it regardless I tell her not to. And me... I can't afford those travels, which is also not fair to her. And I can't move to Chicago, I've lived in the big city and I don't like it, I would be partially miserable. This long distance is so fucking hard, I knew it was just a matter of time till it broke us... till I broke us.
When she said she was willing to leave her whole life in Chicago and come back to Jerome, that was my breaking point, because I could never ask her or let her do that. I love Morgan too much, I don't want her to hate me and she will, maybe not right now but most definitely in the future. So I rather not have her than have her hating me for sure someday.
People would think I'm a coward for it, and maybe I was. Everything between us was going way too fast and I felt pressured... scared, insecure and even paranoid. I kept asking myself why. Why would Morgan throw away a perfect life for someone as common as me when I know she can do better? I've seen it in that rich gorgeous woman that came knocking on her door.
"Hey there bestie!" My self destructive thoughts were interrupted by Dana coming into classroom. We've spent more time together this past month, mostly because Dana has basically forced her friendship on me.
Not sure if out of pity.
Once I half joked about it and let's just said she didn't find it funny and proceeded to list me a bunch if reasons why she wanted to be my friend and why I was apparently a beautiful person? She said a lot that day.
"Dana, hi."
"Oh don't greet me with too much excitement please." She grabbed a chair and pulled it in front of my desk.
"Sorry, just not in a good mood."
"That's not new, you are still moping around aren't you? Also you are not eating lunch?" Dana is nice, a good friend I like her, but God she speaks alot.
Telling her about my break up with wasn't really planned, I just kind of blurted it out by accident once, but it honestly felt good, to say outloud and to have a friend to talk about it with.
"Not really hungry." I responded.
"Yeah, I'm not having that. Take this and eat," she handed me a sandwich. "Andy made it, it's just a turkey sandwich but I kid you not, he makes the best one ever."
To be honest I have been so distracted these days that I forgot to pack myself some lunch. But I wasn't really that hungry either, "Dana—"
"No buts, eat your lunch miss. Just because you are heartbroken doesn't mean I'll let you starve yourself, or anything."
I sighed giving up and took a bite of the sandwich—which was in fact really good. "Thanks."
"No problem." Dana winked at me and continued eating her salad.
We didn't speak much during lunch break—well I didn't, Dana did most of the talking, but I think she knows I haven't been very talkative this past month so she brings it upon herself to get some conversation out of me. Even if it's not much.
The end of the school day came sooner than most days and this time watched as Mrs. Valentine came to pick up Matty. I haven't really talked to her since the break up with Morgan. I was a bit scared that she would hate me now, so I preferred not to know.
Unfortunately to me Mrs. Valentine spotted me and started walking to where I was standing.
Oh fuck, why me?
"Hayley, is nice to see you honey. How are you doing?" The woman that looked like an older version of my ex-girlfriend asked me ever so gently.
"I— I've been good." I responded vaguely and I could tell she knew I was lying, but fortunately she didn't push.
"It's been a while since I've seen you."
"Sorry I have been busy with work." I scratched my neck in nervousness.
Mrs. Valentine smiled softly at me—almost sympathetically. "I can imagine. You should pass by the house one of these days so we can have coffee and catch up."
Why does my ex-girlfriend has to have such a lovely mom.
"Sure I'll—I'll try to." I said rather awkwardly.
She put both of her hands on my arms and stared at me with the usual loving motherly look in her eyes. "I meant it, come by the house. No matter if you and Morgan broke up, you are still welcomed Hayley. You are still a part of our family."
Family.
I stared at the woman in astonishment at her words. Trying hard to believe them, but knowing that no matter how much I try I probably won't ever fully believe it.
Why would they consider me family after the break up. It didn't make sense, at least not to me.
"I gotta go, but please come by something." With a squeeze to my hands I watched her walk away—still frozen and very much speechless.
I don't believe in unconditional love, but could this be what is supposed to be?
I wouldn't know.
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