Don't Be Afraid To Love

Chapter 22

The next morning I went jogging again, avoiding the park. I felt like jogging was the only way I could clear my head and start focusing on other things than what happened between Robert and I.

I put my headphones on and turned on Spotify on my phone. Combined with the music, the jog was a really good therapy. I put on a random playlist, and it played 'Take me to the moon' by Kadebostany, and it was very soothing.

As I was approaching the park, I decided to run just a little more in that direction and then head back home, but suddenly I saw a blue bicycle probably about a hundred meters ahead of me and I recognized Robert - he was wearing his sunglasses and no helmet, as usual.

I turned around quickly and started to jog in the opposite direction, hoping he didn't seen me.

Too late, though. Even with the music that played in my headphones, I thought I heard Robert calling my name. I continued to run pretending I didn't hear him, but a few seconds after that, I saw him outrun me with his bicycle and stopped abruptly with a drift right in front of me, blocking my way.

"Diana!" Robert called again.

I took the headphones out of my ears and acted as though I didn't see him nor hear him earlier.

"Hey!" He said and put his sunglasses on his head. "What happened? I've been trying to reach you these days, and you've been avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you," I lied.

"Diana, please! What happened? I can tell something's wrong."

"Nothing."

"Diana!" he insisted.

I took a deep sigh and buried my face into my hands for a few short seconds.

"Alright," I finally said. "I didn't reply to your texts because I was upset, okay?"

"I gather that much. But why?" Robert asked.

"I just thought that... we had a connection. I thought..." I trailed off thinking how to phrase it properly. I tilted my head down and looked at the ground.

"Hey." He put his hand on my shoulder, and I looked back at him. He fixed me with his intense gaze, and when he looked at me like that, I wasn't able to lie to him anymore.

"What are we doing exactly, Robert? I mean...this... Us."

I was hoping he would tell me what I meant to him or what his intentions were.

He frowned and seemed to search deep into his mind for an answer.

"I... I don't know," he said eventually.

I pursed my lips and nodded slowly. That wasn't exactly the answer I was expecting. I didn't know what I was expecting, actually.

"I gotta..." I said and then walked past him and continued my way back home.

"Wait," he tried to stop me. "Wait!" he repeated and came with his bicycle in front of me, blocking me again. "I don't know what you want me to say!"

He seemed genuinely troubled seeing how discontent I was.

"If I'm just a... fling to you, then I wanna know. Because I don't think I can do this..."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't like to be toyed with, Robert."

"What are you even-"

"I came to your house on Sunday, but you were with that woman from work, so I left," I confronted him.

"What?"

"I honestly thought we had something," I continued, "but now I realize that what you said your mother-in-law says about you is true. But maybe it would've been nice of you to tell me you have a girlfriend before you got me into your bed, don't you think?"