Don't Be Afraid To Love

Chapter 35

On Monday morning I kept the promise I made to myself and first thing in the morning when I reached the office, I announced Margaret about my decision.

She was furious, knowing that along with me, the possibility of the agency to sell the expensive house from Jasmine Alley anytime soon was gone, too.

Margaret reminded me of the costs I had to pay back to the agency for the training I was offered when I got hired, which I had totally forgotten about.

There was nothing I could do about it. The decision was made, and I couldn't back down. I had thirty days to pay them 2000 euro. I was forced to spend all the savings I had for buying a car, but at least I was at ease with my conscience.

I turned in the keys of my Yaris, gathered my stuff in a small cardboard box, and left.

Cristina was sad to see me leave, but in a way, I still thought she had a part of the blame for all that.

I took a cab home and stayed in bed for the rest of the day, trying to figure out the next step.

*****

That evening Robert called me to go to his place. He sounded pretty irritated. I wondered what was wrong.

I was going to tell him about my decision to quit - I decided to tell him I wanted a change in my career; I didn't want him to know about the real reason I left my job, obviously.

As if predicting something bad was going to happen, the sky turned black all of a sudden, and a heavy rain started to fall.

I took Robert's silver Fiesta - which had remained in front of my block ever since he borrowed it to me the other day - and when I reached his place, I found him in the kitchen, having a bottle of scotch on the counter and an empty glass. He stood with his hands propped in the counter, looking blankly at the glass.

"Robert?"

"Hey..." he greeted me, turning his head slightly to a side.

I reached him and took him by his arm.

"What's wrong?" I asked Robert.

I couldn't believe how perfect the previous day was and how I thought his 'wounds' were gone, and now he was with the bottle of alcohol in front of him again.

"Adela wants me to get a paternity test. Someone tipped her off about how I might not be Andy's real father."

I turned red, I turned white, and I just felt like digging a hole in the ground and going hide in it, realizing my unpardonable mistake. I took my hand off Robert's arm and moved a few inches back. I swear I felt like crying of rage because of my stupid big mouth.

"But there's nothing to worry about, right?" I asked.

"No, I don't think so, but... I don't know. I don't know!" he replied and took the bottle and poured himself a drink.

"Robert, don't. This isn't good for you," I advised and tried to keep the glass from reaching his mouth.

He looked at me for a second and put the glass back down on the counter without drinking out of it, sighing angrily.

"Thank you," I said.

I thought about the discoveries I had made about the fact that his wife cheated on him, I thought maybe that would help him on the trial. So I had to tell him, I just didn't know how.

For days, I thought of different ways of how to approach Robert about what I found out about Sharon, but I was afraid he might get angry at me, and yet I hoped that by telling him he would be able to let go of that grief he carried that consumed him so much. But after the good time we had the previous day, I didn't think it was necessary anymore. And now, maybe it would've helped.