Don't Be Afraid To Love

Chapter 16

I decided that from now on, I would speak to Robert for business matters only, and I would try to stop imagining that something more than being his friend could ever happen.

So the following week, when I met with him for the viewing of the two houses on Bakery Street, I acted as formally as I could. I even dressed into those tight office pants and wore the red heels I bought with Cristina from the mall a while back. Being a little sexy never hurt anyone. Maybe that way, he would realize what he was missing. Men will be men, after all - they would never be indifferent when seeing a good-looking woman.

"So I've been meaning to ask you, what do you think about this room? How would you decorate it? I wanted your expert opinion on this one," Robert asked me.

"Well, the room is definitely too small to make a bedroom out of it, but maybe it could serve as a study with a library. Maybe Andreya could do her homework here when she grows, or you could use it as a home office should you ever work from home. The lighting is pretty good despite the small space, because it's facing east, so you would have the sun here for the first part of the day, which I think it's best for productivity if you ask me."

"Interesting," he said and seemed impressed by me.

"It's something I would love to do: to decorate houses," I confessed. "I actually like it much more than selling houses."

"Then why don't you?"

"It's a little complicated.. You would have to have a diploma, experience, recommendations. Nobody would hire you without having any of that. Talent isn't always enough..."

"You should do what you love," Robert advised me.

"Anyway," I continued with a brighter tone, disregarding his comment. "This right here is the living room," I said formally and headed for the door. "Its large window leads directly towards the main street," I added.

As soon as I entered the room, I felt his hand grabbing mine and pulling me back. He held me against the door frame, caressed my lips with his thumb, and then he pressed his lips onto mine.

Well, I guess the sexy clothes must've done their job, I thought.

I gave in to my feelings, and when our lips parted, I responded to the kiss, my lips finding their way back to his like a magnet. It was a soft and gentle kiss, almost as if he was afraid he could hurt me, and yet it was so intense that I felt it in every cell of my body. My heart throbbed, and my knees felt weak.

I guess I could say goodbye to my intention of speaking to Robert for business matters only. Who was I trying to fool? I wasn't going to be able to do that. Never.

I placed my hand on his chest, caressing it for a bit, but then I pushed him back ever so gently. I looked deep into his eyes, trying to read him. He was gazing right back into mine, probably doing the same thing. We stood like that for a few seconds, not saying anything. His eyes were warm, but his expression was somehow blank. I couldn't tell if the kiss happened just from the impulse of the moment, perhaps just the way it did back at his house, but if he actually had feelings going on behind it, he sure knew how to hide them.

And then I remembered seeing him talking to that woman that night when he left the party and I hated it. What was the deal with her, anyway?

"Robert..." I broke the silence, and the word sounded too loud in the echo of the empty building.

And as if the sound of his name had just awakened him from a trance, he took a step back and said: "I'm sorry...I..." he looked down at his shoes as if not wanting to look me in the eyes anymore.

He didn't know what to say because he didn't know what he was doing. He was confused, I could tell that much. I could understand that he was going through a lot, but I didn't like to be toyed with, either. As much as I loved it when he kissed me, I would've liked him to get his thoughts and feelings in order first.