sᴇʟғɪsʜ~ʟᴇɢᴀᴄɪᴇs {slow updates}

TWENTY SIX

The next day I feel worse, like a thousand times worse to the point where I can't even muster up the energy to leave my bed. "If you're not coming to the dance then I won't go without you." Kie says sitting on the edge of my bed, "I want you to go and have fun, this is your first dance with a boyfriend, just because I hallucinated mine doesn't mean you should miss out on this. You guys are such dorks, you spent ages on your outfits too so you should be able to go enjoy." She smiles slightly but looks unsure. "You know that you're more important to me than any boy or any dance," I nod but kick her off my bed.

"I love you but I'm not your responsibility, if you're still worried send mom this way, I want her." Kie nods and makes her way to the door before hesitating once more, "kiara I swear to god if you don't get yourself to the dance I will incendia your ass."

"Kie said you were asking for me?" I sigh in relief once I finally see my mom who's looking at me in worry just like she always did when I had an episode. "Please come lay with me mommy." She joins me in bed and wraps her arms around me like she used to do when I was little. "Mom why am I crazy?" She makes a sound of disagreement as she smooths my hair from my face. "You're not crazy baby." I sniffle as I turn to her.

"Mom I'm scared that I've lost my mind, I'm too afraid to leave my bed. I'm so tired of this mom, I can't keep going like this, I can't do it anymore I'm not strong enough." She frowns and shakes her head, "hey no, we're not giving up ok? You are strong enough, you're the strongest person I know and you can do this but you don't have to do it alone. You have me and Kie, always, you always have us and you have your uncle Ric and your cousins we all love you so much, so much. So you never have to fight alone, you have us to help and you have hope too, I know I don't remember her but she's family too and she told me she'd do anything for you." I nod taking comfort in her words but they didn't magically make me feel better.

"I know things are hard right now, and I know you don't believe me when I say things will get better but I absolutely promise you they will, I was where you were not long ago and I didn't believe it either but your uncle Enzo and your father helped me so so much, they were the reason I was alive and things got better so much better," I didn't understand how she was so optimistic not when she had lost both of them.

"I fell in love and was loved unconditionally by a man who truly changed my life and gave me you, your sister and yourself are my everything, you make every moment on earth worth it and I wouldn't change a single thing about either of you. I want you to experience all the wonders of the world and so if you want to go back to therapy then we can absolutely do that or if you want to give medication another shot I'll arrange that. Just whatever you think will help." I hug my mom once more so appreciative that I had her and that she loved me so much, she did make me feel a bit better I felt seen and understood and that did help, she never made me feel crazy, she always made me feel like I was perfect even though I wasn't but she made me feel normal.

We sit together for a while longer watching a movie on my moms laptop before I muster up the courage to ask her something that had been pecking at me. "Mom? What's the merge?" Sue goes completely still which makes me know she definitely knew what I was talking about.

"I don't want to tell you without Kiara being here." She says making my brows furrow, "it's bad isn't it?" She doesn't answer which tell me all I needed to know, "I also don't think I should tell you given the way you feel right now."

"Mom please, just tell me you can't tell Kie tonight and I can't wait." She tries to talk me out of it but I wanted to know, I needed to know.

"The merge is something your uncle Ric, aunt care and I agreed not to mention until we'd found a solution but I guess the twins must've found out. Well um you remember how I told you that your dad was coven leader?" I nod, "to become coven leader you have to preform the merge."